11 Musicians That Need To Hang It Up

Music, like pretty much every other thing that a person is into, is completely subjective. It’s one of the many things that makes a person an individual. That’s why I could care less what critics have to say about a new album, because we all have different tastes in music. However, I think most of us can agree that some musicians just need to call it a day. Before I get cared away, let me state that this list attempts to steer away from some of the usual suspects, like The Rolling Stones or Elton John. With acts like that, there’s a very thin line. Do we care about their new album? Probably not. But, they can still pull off a show full of hits and sing-a-longs that make any concert goer walk away with a smile on their face. With that being said, here’s eleven musicians that seriously need to hang it up, from both recording and touring, because they’ve worn out their welcome a long time ago.

11. Red Hot Chili Peppers

In the late 80’s and early 90’s, the Chili Peppers were perhaps one of the most energetic and innovative bands out there, even with set backs like the death of guitarist Hillel Slovak. However, they’ve been on a downward spiral since their most well known album, Blood Sex Sugar Magik in 1991, although I did enjoy 2002’s By The Way. I’ll never take away the talent of Flea or drummer Chad Smith, but there’s a number of reasons why these guys just need to go their own ways. I could go off on a tangent about the flaws of Anthony Kiedis, like his lame lyrics and horrible voice, but I’ll digress. As a band, they’ve reached their peak, and as 2006’s Stadium Arcadium proves, they’re just a shell of what they used to be. As middle aged men, they’re not that funky batch of goofballs we used to dig. Instead of moving on and evolving, they’re reverting back to what they feel fans want them to be. Oh yeah, the strongest member of the band, John Frusciante, has left the band again, and we all remember how things turned out when he was replaced with Dave Navarro on One Hot Minute in 1995.

10. Madonna

Madonna has had a remarkable career, even if you’re not a fan of music, you do have to admit that. Just when you think that she’s finished, she reinvents herself. But, how many more times can she pull this off? She’s already been the 80’s Queen of Pop, a scandalous vixen, an actress and now Kabbalah freak. Her 2008 album Hard Candy was a poor attempt to capitalize on the youthful Madonna that originally won fans over. Now that she’s in her 50’s, she’s not as hot as she once was, and it’s kinda awkward hearing some middle aged hag’s material on the dance floor.

9. Aerosmith

I know, some of you may be thinking that I said that I wasn’t going to pick on any of the usual suspects. But, unlike the Stones for example, the Bad Boys From Boston can’t even keep themselves together for a tour. Things have been bad for Aerosmith for years though, like 1998’s “I Dont’ Want To Miss A Thing” and their Super Bowl XXXV halftime show with Britney Spears, ‘N Sync and Nelly, which made fans cringe in their wheelchairs. More recently, when not falling off the stage, Steven Tyler has been making a humongous ass out of himself, which in turn, makes the entire band look bad. He’s apparently fell off the wagon, has left/not left Aerosmith and has now replaced Simon Cowell on American Idol.

8. Rise Against

Some of you may not be familiar with Rise Against, but they’ve been around for over a decade. Basically, they’re Rage Against The Machine Lite, meaning that a majority of their music is politically charged. I have nothing against musicians venting about the crazy world of politics, but basing your music solely around it just gets redundant. It didn’t matter when they were just another Indie band, but now that they’ve found some mainstream success with songs like “Swing Life”, it’s time to pull the plug while they’re on top.

7. My Chemical Romance

These new Jersey natives found breakthrough success by capitalizing on the “emo” trend, which the band doesn’t agree with. If they’re not emo, than let’s just say that they’ve tapped into the I’m-a-middle-class-suburban-teenage-who-can’t-handle-my-horrible-life market. 2006’s Black Parade put these guys on the map, unfortunately. Everywhere you turned there they were. As years passed, so did the Black Parade, but just when you thought that we’ve heard the last of My Chemical Romance, they returned with a new album, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys, in late 2010. The album included the poppy track “SING”, which can be heard during promos for the most anti-establishment movement out there..American Idol.

6. Limp Bizkit

In 1999 frat boys across the country discovered Limp Bizkit’s second album Significant Other, and thought it was the most awesomest album ever recorded. For the next couple of years we were subjected to the mindless noise from this so-called band. People began to catch onto Fred Durst’s hack abilities in 2003, as album sales began to plummet. To make matters worse, the crowd in Chicago for Metallica’s Summer Sanitarium tour even chanted “F@#* Fred Durst”, which resulted in him stomping off stage after six songs. If we needed proof that there is a God, the band went on a hiatus, which many felt was the end for Limp Bizkit. But, God has a wicked sense of rumor, because they returned in 2009 with not only a reunion tour, but also new album for 2011.

5. John Mayer

I’d be naive to not realize that John Mayer is a decent guitarist, his John Mayer Trio was a half-decent listen. However, Mayer has wasted his talent on writing half-hearted pop songs that attempt to get women all worked up. The song writing is bad in it’s own, but Mayer insists that he actually has to sing them himself. We don’t hear Kenny Wayne Shepherd belting out his music, because the dude knows his limits. It seems that we’re more concerned about who Mayer is currently banging than his music, which is always a bad sign for a musician.

4. The Black Eyed Peas

The Black Eyed Peas have certainly paid their dues, they’ve been around since 1995. In the beginning, they were semi-original, a hip-hop group that performed with a live band. Their music even had something to say, but fame and fortune must have been too tempting. In 2003, they released Elephunk, their first album with the-not-as-hot-as-everyone-thinks Fergie. Since then, they haven’t looked back by becoming one of the most popular groups in the world. They now make generic, unoriginal dance music while wearing outfits thrown out by Lady Gaga. Oh yeah, they’ve also been accused of stealing other people’s music multiple times, like here, here, and here.

3. The Smashing Pumpkins

The Pumpkins had some great music in the 90’s, but someone’s ego dismantled a once proud band. I’m talking about one Billy Corgan, one of the most arrogant, front-men ever, who had the balls to blame everyone else in the band for their break-up except himself. Corgan, for a brief period of time, did the right thing and moved on. Unfortunately, his ego couldn’t handle the fact that no one cared about him unless it had something to do with the Smashing Pumpkins. In 2005, he took out a full-page ad in the Chicago Tribune and Chicago Sun-Times that announced a Pumpkins reunion. But, it was far from a reunion. The band returned with only Corgan and drummer Jimmy Chamberlin for 2007’s waste of-an-album Zeitgeist. Since things didn’t turn out too well for Billy, he fired Chamberlin for the second time, and has since assembled a new group of scapegoats under the Smashing Pumpkins name.

2. Sublime

The best thing that ever happened to Sublime was the death of Brad Nowell, which helped their 1996 self-titled release become a major success. The problem is that the band didn’t have a large catalog, only three albums, and two of them the mainstream doesn’t really care about, so we’re still forced to listen to tracks from Sublime over and over again. With Nowell gone, the band’s short career should have been too in 1996. The remaining members had no choice but to break Sublime up, but some people just need to milk the past sometimes. In 2009, the band reformed with a Brad Nowell wannabe named Rome Ramirez. A show or two would be alright, but they felt that it would be a great idea to do a full blown tour and possibly record a new album. Because the estate of Nowell blocked the use of Sublime, they now go by the original band name Sublime With Rome, as opposed to say, a completely new band.

1. Guns N’ Roses

Seriously, would there be any other choice? GNR could have been one of the greatest rock bands ever. They had the potential to match The Stones, something few bands could, or will ever, do. Instead, they self-destructed. They released a laughable cover album in 1993 called “The Spaghetti Incident?,” followed by Axl Rose letting every member of the band go. While the former members of GNR moved on, Axl held onto the Guns N’ Roses name and promised a new album, year after year. Fifteen years later, Rose delivered Chinese Democracy as a Best Buy exclusive, which never lived up to sales and fan’s expectations. It’s bad enough that Rose continues on with Guns N’ Roses without any key members of the band, but the bloated and botoxed front-man still cancels shows when he feels like it, like the Philly gig in 2002, which pretty barred Axl Rose from ever returning to the City of Brotherly Love. Unless there’s a proper reunion, Guns N’ Roses need to officially disappear and stop wasting the fans time and money on the antics of Axl Rose.

Leave a Comment

  1. Arse says:

    You're a very negative sour individual aren't you