Offbeat

Cop Writes Woman Ticket, Asks Her Out

Picking up a woman is never as easy as we think it is, which is why we have to rely on numerous tricks. For cops, however, it would seem that they wouldn’t have such a problem. After-all, they’re respected, authority figures, and what better way to impress a chick? But, with great power, comes great responsibility.

Instead of using his career as a plus, Chris Collins used his authority to become the creepy-stalker guy.

Back on October 22, Collins issued Evangelina Paredes a $132 speeding ticket in Stickney, IL, which is right outside of Chicago. Instead of using his pull right then and there, Collins instead used his position to find her address through motor-vehicle records. Two days after the ticket was given, he left a handwritten note on Paredes’ windshield that read: “It’s Chris … that ugly bald Stickney cop who gave you that ticket. I know this may seem crazy and you’re probably right, but truth is I have not stopped thinking about you since. I don’t expect a girl as attractive as you to … even go for a guy like me, but I’m taking a shot anyways,” and concludes with, “But hey, I did cost you $132 — least I can do is buy you dinner.”

OK, the guy does get some credit for having some guts and a sense of humor, but that still wasn’t enough to get past the whole-abusing-his-power-to-find-an-address-thing. Which is why he’s getting sued.

According to the lawsuit, Parades felt that the “letter caused plaintiff to suffer great fear and anxiety,” and that, the “Plaintiff could not believe that a police officer would use his access to her personal information to find her home and stalk her.” The suit, which seeks unspecified payments in damages, also accuses Collins of using his “authority and position as a police officer not to protect the public, but to attempt to manipulate the plaintiff into going out on a date with him.”

While a lawsuit may seem a little severe, there’s several lessons to be learned here when picking up women..

First off, timing is everything. Collins missed his chance when he first encountered Parades. Waiting two days later, and admitting that she was all he was thinking about, comes off just a tad desperate and tacky.

Secondly, a guy needs to know how to use his resources as an advantage. Being a cop should be enough to interest a woman, but, using that to find out information is not only a turn-off, but also creepy and illegal.

Finally, this whole story shows exactly how not to pick up a woman. Collins was just plan classless, weird and uncomfortable. And, sometimes when that happens,  you only not land the girl, you also get sued.

Leave a Comment