You Got Her Digits, Now Give Her a Call

David Castillo Dominici /

David Castillo Dominici /

Let’s say that you went out to a bar last night, met a girl and the two of you hit it off. Now comes the tricky part. Taking this from a successful first encounter to asking her out on a date.

While there are plenty of ways to get in touch with her, like email, Facebook, Twitter, etc., nothing beats the old-fashioned phone call when asking her out. In fact, it’s really the only way you should be asking her. While leaving a message via text or FB is simple and convenient, it’s just plain lazy. Those sort of messages are impersonal and won’t let you stand out among all the other people she’s communicating with from behind a screen. Besides, a phone call will get you some one-on-one time, as well as, showing her that you’re definitely interested in pursuing some sort of relationship.

Yet even though you were smooth enough to get her number, it’s still a nerve-racking experience that first time you give her a call. But in all actuality, dialing her number really shouldn’t make you feel nauseated. Especially if you just remember a couple of key points.

I Didn’t Get Her Number, Just Another Way to Contact Her

Before we really get into this, you need to make sure that you actually have her number. If you left the bar without any way of contacting her, then you’re out of luck. Don’t be the creep that is trying to find her on Facebook the next day. She won’t be flattered. She might actually be a little bugged out by it. Sorry. But you missed your opportunity.

But if you left with permission to friend request her or got an email address, at least that’s something. If they are the only ways you have to reach her, then make sure that you ask for her digits sooner than later.

I Got Her Number, When Do I Call?

Despite what you may have seen in the movies, most women don’t want that mysterious man that plays games with her. This includes the “3 Day Rule”. So when you do get the nerve to call her, just use common sense and keep the following in mind.

Calling the same night you met could come off as desperate, or psychopathic. And if you wait too long, like more than a week, she’s bound to forget all about you. Anything in between should be just fine, including the next day. But here’s where some common sense comes into play.

Calling her on a Monday at 10 AM isn’t exactly the smartest of moves. She’s most likely busy, like in class or at work. While you have the time on a weekday morning to give her a call. What are you? Unemployed? The same could be said for a Saturday night. She’s out and you’re the loner at home thinking about her. Again, we’re trying not to scare her off. But a Wednesday or Thursday evening is usually a decent time to call. She’s probably available and it gives you a chance to set something up for the weekend after the initial phone call concludes.

She Didn’t Answer The Phone

So you called her up and all you got was her voicemail. What next? Leave a message. It’s that simple. You manned up and now the ball is in her court. However, try not to leave a message that says “Call me whenever”. Try to at least leave a message that intrigues her. Maybe something like “Hey, it’s Joe. Didn’t know if you wanted to try out that new Italian restaurant this weekend. Give me a call back and let me know if you can.”

She Hasn’t Called Back

If it’s been longer than a week, then it’s time to move on. She’s not interested. But if it’s only been a day or two, relax. Stuff happens. Maybe there was a death in her family. Maybe her phone broke. Or, perhaps she’s been out of town for work. The point here is that there could be a reason why she didn’t get back to you immediately. So don’t jump to any conclusions and start badgering her. You’re bound to scare her off before anything even begins.

What To Talk About

So what happens when you finally get to talk to her on the phone? Well, to begin with, before you even call make sure there’s a reason why you are calling. Maybe it’s to invite her to a party or that you just wanted to continue the conversation you had the night you met. Whatever you decide, just be sure that you have something to say.

Besides the typical small talk, such as her family and where she’s from, try to get as much information about her as you can. Ask her what’s her favorite movie, music, or food, and keep that information stored for future use. Also, jumping around to various topics gives the two of you the chance to find some common ground that could really get the conversation going. Whatever you end up chatting about, be honest. Women actually like a man who is honest. Of course you don’t want to be too open in the beginning, like telling her the graphic details surrounding the time you got food poisoning, but honesty as a whole is a good thing.

Also remember to be casual and at-ease, like talking to a friend. Keep the conversation fluid and fun. Not only will the time fly by, it will keep her interested enough to remain on the phone with you. If the conversation stalls, you can be certain that she’s going to hang up soon. But the best advice is to relax and be yourself

Ending The Conversation

Unfortunately, all things must come to an end. Even if your first conversation is going great and you could keep yakking for hours, eventually someone will have to call it a night. For whatever reason why the phone call has to end, be sure to set up the next time you’re going to talk or meet up with her. After all, that was the entire purpose of the phone call. Getting the opportunity to take her out on a date.

Leave a Comment