Entertainment

30 People Who Could Be the Next CEO of Playboy

It was recently announced that Christie Hefner, daughter of Hugh Hefner, will be stepping down as the CEO of Playboy in January 2009.

So, do you know what that means?!?!

Someone NEW gets to be the CEO of Playboy! Here is a list of those who we think would be great front runner candidates for the job as new CEO for Playboy.

1. Jerry Yang

Who is Jerry Yang? Yang is the co-founder and CEO of Yahoo!, a multi-service website with email services, a search engine, clubs, chat services, news, and more. He recently made an announcement that he will stand down as CEO.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Jerry can only go up. After making the wrong call on a decision that literally costs billions of dollars and losing his job, the guy can only go up. Have you ever SEEN the stuff that goes on with Yahoo Chat? He’s completely prepared for a little soft core porn.

Secondly, this could be a new generation for Playboy. Yang could help them go high tech. You would be able to get the Playmate of the Month on your start page and chat with the Playmates. There could also be special clubs and forums starring the Playmates. He’s already got ins with other search companies for cutting deals.
Odds: 5 to 1 (that his balls are, indeed, as big as he demonstrates above)

2. Holly Madison

Who is Holly Madison?

Madison is one of the Playmates and costar of Hugh Hefner’s “The Girls Next Door” series on the E! Channel. Holly Madison not only appeared on the cover (and inside) Playboy magazine in November 2005, but also was on Playboy’s website as Cyber Girl of the Week in 2003.

Why the CEO for Playboy?
Who better to run Playboy than one of the Playmates?

She’s been a fixture in the mansion and the business for the past few years and knows how the company works. She has attended some college and knows the innerworkings of what keeps Playboy running. Now that she’s out of the mansion, it may be time to get her into the boardroom

Odds: 10 to 1 (that Cris Angel magically convinces her that he should be in charge instead)

3. Joe Rogan

Who is Joe Rogan? Comedian, actor, and television personality Joe Rogan has been famous in show business since about 1995 when he was cast in the television sitcom “News Radio”. In 2001, he began a variety of different things such as hosting NBC’s “Fear Factor” and co-hosting Comedy Central’s “The Man Show“. His other huge road to fame is the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) circuit where he is a commentator for the sport and now hosts “UFC Wired”.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Joe would give an entire new dimension to Playboy. If Playboy is looking for something different and a new marketing strategy, then Joe’s your man. How about the UFP (Ultimate Fighting Playmate)? It would be awesome! They’d have to be naked, of course. After all, it’s Playboy. You may think it’s sexy, but things could get hairy from time to time, with ears and cotton tails flying all over the place.
Odds: 30 to 1 (that Joe can get Holly to tap with a rear naked choke.)

4. Eliott Spitzer

Who is Elliott Spitzer? Elliott Spitzer is a lawyer and former Governor for New York. On March 17, 2008, he resigned as governor due to his involvement as a client in an upscale prostitution ring.

Why the CEO for Playboy? With an undergraduate degree from Princeton and law degree from Harvard, Spitzer is well educated and was seen a great leader until his prostitution scandal. With Spitzer’s biggest weakness being scantily clad women, he should thrive in the Playboy environment. It would also be a great place for him to rebuild his reputation as a leader and an innovator.

I’m thinking he has a good shot if he remembers to keep his pants on and his black socks off. We KNOW Eliot can spot talent.
Odds: 40 to 1(that he gets cut last minute for not taking his black socks off before a threesome)

5. Dana White

Who is Dana White? Dana White is the President of UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship). He has a background as an aerobics instructor and also a background in martial arts.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Getting past the obvious UFC/Playboy images that are going through your head, Dana White is a leader and an amazing business man. Rolling Stone has even said, “Dana White, president of the Ultimate Fighting Championship, may soon be hailed as the greatest sports promoter ever, of all time, bigger even than boxing’s Don King.” Dana White took dying sport that was illegal in 36 states and turned into a money making machine. Imagine what he could do with Playboy if he got his hands on it.

Wouldn’t it be a cool marketing strategy to organize UFC-type fights with the Playmates? The last one standing could be the Playmate of the month. Or even better yet, market it to the public and see how many men would like to fight (or wrestle) with a Playmate.

He’s got a pretty sweet gig, so he’s a long shot, but hot girls beats sweaty dudes any day of the week hands down.
Odds: 50 to 1(that he let’s Junie Browning be the Vice President of Operations)

6. Ellen DeGeneres

Who is Ellen DeGeneres?

Ellen is a successful stand up comedienne, actress, talk show host, and television personality. She is currently most famous for her talk show “The Ellen DeGeneres Show“. Though she’s done countless things to make her famous in show biz, she’s probably best known for how much she likes the ladies.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

Okay, it’s true that Ellen may have no idea what a man likes, but she sure knows what’s sexy in a woman. You have to admit, she has good taste in women.

Odds: 60 to 1 (that she will continue to allow men in the mansion)

7. Ron Jeremy

Who is Ron Jeremy? Ron Jeremy is a former pornographic actor. Though he has been in non-pornographic films, he’s best known for his porn films, and having a member large enough to warrant it’s own spot on the list.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Ron has more experience in the adult industry than anyone on this list.He knows what works and he may be exactly what Playboy needs, another high profile high energy, well respected leader. Move over Hef, here comes Ron (no pun intended – sorry for the mental).

Ron Jeremy has already been in the porn industry and has gotten a lot of attention and notoriety. Also, I don’t know about you, but the ladies might really take a liking to him. It could be good for morale around the Playboy mansion.

Odds: 100 to 1 (that the hedgehog will be trimming bushes at the mansion)

8. Ron Paul

Who is Ron Paul? Ron Paul is a United Stated Congressman from Texas. He also has written books and ran for the President of the United States.

Why the CEO for Playboy? I think Playboy could really promote the “All-American Girl” thing with Ron Paul as their CEO. You can’t get much more patriotic than a Congressman. Do you think it’ll matter that he’s a Republican?

Ron was also on the House Banking Committee and is not afraid to stand up for what is right.Playboy could use Ron Paul’s experience in understanding how to fix faltering financial institutions.
Odds: 1000 to 1(that he moves to LA post politics)

9. Sean Combs

Who is Sean Combs? It’s Puff Daddy! Okay, so he was originally known to us as Puff Daddy. He has since changed his stage name to P. Diddy, and now it’s just “Diddy“. Combs is a rapper, record producer, actor, men’s fashion designer, and entrepreneur.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

Love him or hate him, you have to admit that Diddy is a marketing genius. He owns Bad Boy Entertainment Worldwide which owns Bad Boy Records, a movie production company and 2 restaurants. He is a writer, producer, actor, and clothing designer. He has turned remaking old songs into a $340 Million+ empire. If anybody can turn Playboy into a media monster and return it to its glory day, its Diddy, or Puffy, or P or whatever the hell he’s going by now.

If “The Hef” thinks that Playboy could use a new look, then Puff Daddy might just be the person to do it. We already know that he’s capable of successfully marketing entertainment. He would jazz up Playboy and make it more hip for the 21st century. He’d give the Playboy mansion a little more style and maybe even orchestrate a rap number with the Playmates in it. He could also orchestrate a photo shoot called “Nothin’ but Bling” where the girls are wearing just that – nothin’ but bling.
Odds: 10 to 1 (that he can throw a better party at the mansion)

10. Mark Cuban

Who is Mark Cuban? Mark Cuban is an entrepreneur, a billionaire, owner of the Dallas Mavericks (an NBA basketball team), and chairman of HDNet and HDTV Cable Network. There is usually some sort of controversy going on with him because of his criticism, mainly of the referees in the NBA. He’s been fined repeatedly for these incidents. Though it may sound like he’s an ass, Cuban stated that he matches each fine with a charitable donation.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Not only does Mark Cuban own the Dallas Mavericks, which means we could have Playmates for cheerleaders but he is an incredible successful businessman. A working class guy from Pittsburgh, after being fired from one of his first real jobs out of college Cuban built up and sold his first company for $2M. Cuban then took the $2M he netted from selling his first company into $2.8 billion (what he retained after Yahoo bought his second company Broadcast.com). Now if he could have that kind of return with Playboy, the shareholders would sure to be impressed. No, Cuban doesn’t really need the money from Playboy, but the chance to surround himself with playmates may be a big enough sell to get him on board.
Odds: 20 to 1(that he trades the magazine to Cleveland to get Lebron on the Mavericks)

11. Anne Sweeney

Who is Anne Sweeney? Sweeney is the co-Chair of the Disney Media Network ABC-Disney Television Group. This group includes ABC Television Network, ABC News, ABC Daytimes, ABC Sports, ABC Entertainment, ABC Studios, ABC Family, The Disney Channel, Toon Disney, SOAPnet, and Jetix.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Breaking away from Disney and being the sole chair person would be a great challenge for Sweeney.She’s helped to produce hit television shows and build up the ABC network into a powerhouse.Imagine what she could do for Playboy! Turning that company around and returning it to its former glory would be an ever greater accomplishment than getting people to watch ABC. How did that happen again? At the end of the day, Disney is “The Happiest Place on Earth”. What do you think the Playboy mansion is? “The Happiest Place on Earth” if you’re a guy of course.
Odds: 1000 to 1(that Minnie Mouse ever poses as a Sweeney-era centerfold)

12. Arnold Schwarzenegger

Who is Arnold Schwarzenegger? Well, first of all, we all know Arnold, but here’s the lowdown on him anyway. Currently the Governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger (an Austrian native) was a body builder, actor, businessman and now a politician. His acting career is well known as he starred in huge hits such as “Conan the Barbarian” and the “Terminator” movie series. In November 2003, Schwarzenegger took office as the Governor of California.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Arnold Schwarzenegger seems to be a success at anything that he does, so this would be a good move for Playboy. As far as what’s in it for Arnold, well let’s see. He’s from Austria. He comes to this country, becomes an actor, marries a Kennedy, and becomes governor of the state of California. He’s living the epitome of the American Dream. There’s only one thing missing from his dream – Playboy!
Odds: 2000 to 1 (that Skynet takes control of the bunnies)

13. Bret Michaels

Who is Bret Michaels? Musician and television personality Bret Michaels was first well known to us as the lead singer of the rock band “Poison”. However, starting on July 15, 2007, Bret debuted as the star of a reality show called “Rock of Love” where 25 sluts women compete to win Bret Michaels’ heart. The show has already gone through 2 seasons and the third is to air on January 4, 2009.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Bret Michaels would be perfect for this. You could have a new reality show called “Rock of Love – Playboy Edition” where the Playboy modes compete for Bret Michaels’ love and to be “Playmate of the Year”.
Odds: 200 to 1 (that Brett sings “Talk Dirty to Me” to a 12 playmates per year)

14. Carly Fiorina

Who is Carly Fiorina? In short, Fiorina is a successful financial consultant and business woman. She was formerly the vice-president at AT&T and organized the initial public offering of Lucent Technologies (a company made up of AT&T, Bell Labs, and Western Electric). Fiorina is also the former CEO of Hewlett Packard and was more recently an economic advisor for presidential candidate John McCain.

Why the CEO for Playboy? I think it’s time that Fiorina orchestrated a new “initial public offering” involving Playboy. Just the subject gets your mouth watering, doesn’t it? With all of her experience with technology and telecommunication, I think it’s time to bring back AT&T’s old tagline “Reach out and touch someone”, only in Playboy style.

Odds: 4000 to 1 (that she rolls out iPhone and BlackBerry Apps so men can better read the articles within a month)

15. Courtney Love

Who is Courtney Love?

Rock musician and actress Courtney Love is most famous for being the lead singer of the alternative rock group “Hole” as well as being famous for bad behavior and the short term marriage to Kurt Cobain. Love went through a bout of drugs that sent her on a downward spiral. After rehab, she has been producing songs that have an anti-drug message.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

The number one reason Courtney Love would make a good CEO for Playboy is the publicity. There’s a lot of it surrounding that girl. If her rehabilitation sticks, Playboy could go with an anti-drug theme with the Playmates and if it doesn’t, then Love could give Playboy a whole new kind of “bad girl” image.

Odds: 1,000,000 to 1 (that she bans all drugs at the mansion)

16. Joe Francis

 

Who is Joe Francis?

In 1997, Joe Francis started a company called Mantra Films Inc. and began his new business in marketing girls acting in a provocative manner at Mardi Gras and Spring Break. All men are intrigued by this. Who isn’t? Joe Francis is the one that had the bright idea to film and market it. He would soon be the founder and CEO of “Girls Gone Wild“.

Why the CEO for Playboy? I guess the better question would be “why not?” He made “Girls Gone Wild” a huge success. He obviously knows how to market naked women. This is a chance for Joe to move up in the world of nudity and it might be a relaxing break. Playboy girls are tame compared to what he’s used to.
Odds: 20 to 1 (that he will be checking every single ID at the door)

17. Curtis Jackson

Who is Curtis Jackson?

You know him better as rapper 50 Cent. Of course, Fitty is a famous rapper who has been on the scene since 1998. Before his career in rap, 50 Cent lives in Queens, NY dealing drugs and running with a gang. However, he redirected his focus to rapping rather than the illegal activities from his past. Along with rapping, 50 Cent has tried his hand in acting, though we still all know him best for his musical career in rap.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

50 Cent is an awesome success story since he came from such a tough background. Though he doesn’t belong to a gang anymore, he still has the tough guy image. It would be a new image for Playboy. He could even publicize it with a headline like “What Goin’ On at Hef’s Crib”. Him, Eminem, and Dr. Dre would make sure that the bills got paid every month.
Odds: 50 to 1 (that he charges girls to pose in the magazine)

18. Daniel Whitney

Who is Daniel Whitney? You better know standup comic and actor Daniel Whitney as Larry the Cable Guy, a dim-witted redneck. Whitney did a lot of radio comedy in his early days and then went on the road with stand up. With his buddies, he became part of the Blue Collar Comedy crew in the early 1990s. Since then, he continues to be part of the Blue Collar Comedy crew, but also has done stand-up on his own and has been in some movies as well. Whitney is best known for saying (as Larry the Cable Guy) “Git-R-Done”.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Whitney would have so much fun as the CEO for Playboy. Could you imagine the publicity that he would get and the publicity that Playboy would get? I think they’d be good for each other. He could work his new career into his comedy act. And of course the new tag-line for Playboy would be, you guessed it, “Git-R-Done”.
Odds: 100,000 to 1 (that he sings the stockholder’s address as a country song)

19. Gary Kremen

Who is Gary Kremen?

Gary Kremen is an American entrepreneur and the founder of match.com, a dating website. He also registered several domain names back in the early days of the Internet such as sex.com, jobs.com, autos.com, and housing.com. He has since sold these domains (for lots of money).

Why the CEO for Playboy?

Kremen could add a new dimension to Playboy and have a personals site with the Playboy models on it. He could call it bunnies.com or hefsbabes.com.


Odds: 500 to 1 (that he has mansion.com registered and a new virtual live at the mansion site ready to flip the switch on)

20. Kent Brownridge

Who is Kent Brownridge?

Kent Brownridge, a businessman is the CEO of “Maxim” and “OK!” magazines. Both of these magazines originated in the United Kingdom, but also have publications throughout the United States.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

We know that Brownridge has experience as a CEO. Also, you figure that he started at a celebrity magazine, then he became the CEO of “Maxim”. Playboy would not only be a step up, but the logical next step.

Odds: 30 to 1 (that he cares to leave Maxim for Playboy)

21. Larry Flynt

Who is Larry Flynt?

Flynt is in the industry of marketing adult porn. What he’s most famous for is producing the Magazine “Hustler”. Flynt is the founder of Larry Flynt Publications and not only produces Hustler Magazine, but also produces pornographic videos.

Why the CEO for Playboy? First and foremost, Flynt has pornographic magazine experience. Secondly, the guy loves his job! The third reason that Flynt would be a good candidate for the new CEO for Playboy is that he would bring a raunchier side to the magazine. More rough, less fluff.
Odds: 5000 to 1 (that he can make Playboy nastier than Hustler)

22. Meg Whitman

Who is Meg Whitman?

Up until March 2008, Meg Whitman was the CEO of eBay. When she became the CEO, the company only had about 30 employees. She is said to be one of the most successful businesswomen.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Meg Whitman is a brilliant business woman. She helped to build eBay from when it was barely a market place and is in need of a new challenge. Building up Playboy, which actually has a great product to start with would be exciting for her. She also has the background in new technology to understand all the challenges she will be faced with emerging media, AKA ‘people downloading free porn all of the Internet’.
Odds: 5000 to 1 (that she auctions the first centerfold for charity)

23. Oprah Winfrey

Who is Oprah Winfrey? Oprah is a talk show host on the internationally syndicated talk show “Oprah”. Along with her many successes on her talk show, Oprah has dabbled in acting and currently has two magazines in publication, “O, The Oprah Magazine” and “O at Home”.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Oprah is also consistently ranked as one of the world’s most influential women. She co-founded the Oxygen Network which is designed to appeal to women. I think it’s about time she tried to appeal to men and took over Playboy, just as long as she isn’t in Playboy

Oprah would open the sensitive side to Playboy. She might get some of the Playmates to open up about their feelings and troubles. I think that the Playboy mansion would be a very relaxing place if Oprah was the CEO for Playboy. Also, she could publicize her new found title with a new magazine called “O My God” and it would talk about her entry into the pornographic industry.
Odds: 1000 to 1 (that she buys all the Playmates a car and a free book club subscription)

24. Pamela Anderson

Who is Pamela Anderson?

Pamela Anderson is an actress, model, and sex symbol. She’s known for her promiscuous attitude. She’s played on television shows such as “Home Improvement”, “Baywatch”, and “V.I.P.”. Perhaps a lot of men know who she is because she was Playmate of the Month in February 1990.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

Pam is very familiar with the magazine having posed on the cover a record 12 times and she also knows what’s sexy. She can also make history and be the first CEO to pose nude inPlayboy.

Odds: 100 to 1 (that she poses as CEO Anderson for the 13th time)

25. Robert Ritchie

Who is Robert Ritchie?

You may better know him by his stage name, Kid Rock. Kid Rock is most famous for his singing and songwriting, but he’s also done some acting. While most musicians stick with one genre, Kid Rock has talents and interests in many different genres in the music world as he sings rap, hard rock, southern rock, heavy metal, hip hop, blues, and country.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

Well, he was married to Pamela Anderson. You can’t get much closer to Playboy than that! Also, he’s got the “bad boy” image that the Playmates would love, so morale would be great. He spends every day around models, and definitely knows how to get women naked. Because he’s such an effective entertainer, I think Kid Rock could market almost anything, so Playboy would be a piece of cake!
Odds: 100 to 1 (that the playmates go on tour with the American Bad Ass)

26. Shawn Fanning

Who is Shawn Fanning?

Computer programmer Shawn Fanning is the founder of Napster.com, a file sharing network on the Internet. The main attraction on Napster.com is to download music easily. Fanning actually got the idea for the site because he was having trouble downloading MP3 files. From there, he developed a program with an easier way to download music and the rest is history.

Why the CEO for Playboy? The answer to this question is simple. Playboy could go into the high tech industry of file sharing on the internet.
Odds: 10,000 to 1 (that he puts the image archives out on the web free to the world to piss off Metallica…err…Hef)

27. Tom Anderson

Who is Tom Anderson?
Whether you realize it or not, you probably already know “Tom”. Tom Anderson is the founder and president of MySpace.com, a social networking website. When anyone sets up an account with MySpace, they always start out with a default “friend” – Tom. Tom has about 250 million friends on MySpace.

Why the CEO of Playboy? Tom Anderson is the most popular person that I can think of, though most of us just know him as “Tom”. I think he could market Playboy very effectively with over 250 million friends on his side. Also, you figure that Tom already has 250 million friends. Adding on several Playboy Playmates isn’t going to do any harm!

What are your thoughts? Do you think any of these candidates would be suitable? Do you have additional reasons why you feel that may be suitable? Are there any other candidates that you could think of that would be great as the CEO for Playboy?
Odds: 1000 to 1 (that MySpace gets the exclusive distribution deal for Playboy’s content)

28. Stephen Colbert

Who is Stephen Colbert?

Colbert is a comedian, actor, and writer that specializes in satire and parodies. He first became famous in his role in Comedy Central’s “Strangers with Candy” and Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show. His brilliance has made him famous.

Why the CEO for Playboy?

Maybe Stephen Colbert could give Playboy a new image, one full of parodies. He could really play up the “dumb blonde” thing, but make it sexy. He understands how America works, and is a true American Hero. He loves apple pie, an is truly the best man for the job.
Odds: 2 to 1 (that he is top voted for and most qualified for the job)

29. Jenna Jameson

Who is Jenna Jameson?

Jenna Jameson is a well known adult film star who has built her own empire. She is getting past her prime as a performer, but is running her own production company – Club Jenna.

Why the CEO for Playboy? Jenna is already quite familiar with adult entertainment, but she is a blossoming businessperson too. She’s currently an author, speaker, and model, and has started to succeed with her own company. She could be the motivation to have Playboy go more hard core in a classy fashion. Her attention to details has made her one of the most watched women on the planet.
Odds: 500 to 1 (that we’ll see penetration in the first quarter magazines)

30. Bill Clinton

Who is Bill Clinton?

Bill Clinton was the 42nd President of the United States and was in office from 1993 to 2001. That’s what he’s most famous for. What he infamous for is the sex scandal(s), one of which took place with an intern, Monica Lewinsky while he was President.

Why the CEO for Playboy? We know Bill Clinton loves women, so he’d be very passionate about the job. Right now, he needs a job and his wife Hilary is upstaging him big-time, so being the CEO at Playboy would be a god career move. Perhaps the biggest reason that Bill Clinton should be considered for the job as CEO for Playboy is because he needs somewhere to put his cigars.

Odds: 10,000 to 1 (that Hillary lets him take it)

More information on the Playboy CEO Job:

Leave a Comment

  1. Larry WOods says:

    Yeah! Larry the Cable Guy! he ROCKS

  2. Julius says:

    I’d do that for free!

  3. turbo says:

    Anybody except Jerry Yang. They should put Hef’s sex organ as CEO. “The organ” probably has the most experience.

  4. Kent says:

    Do your research, idiots. I got tossed out of Maxim months ago and have nothing to do with them. However, I’d love the opportunity to ruin Playboy as well. I’m an expert at destroying things.
    TA!
    KB

  5. Candidate #7 says:

    I’d pay to be the next senator of Illinois, but I’d kill to be the next CEO of Playboy!
    All those swimming suits filled with Plastic Rock Hard Boobs!

  6. I nominate britney Spears.

  7. EntertainMOG says:

    I think I’d be willing to take $1 for that job.

  8. Rick Cain says:

    1) George Clooney
    2) Ashton Kutcher
    3) Jeremy Irons

  9. admin says:

    We also left out Hef’s sons – Marston and Cooper Hefner
    http://www.usmagazine.com/news/hugh-hefners-sons-split-on-having-multiple-girlfriends

    Jeremy Piven aka Ari Gold might not be a bad bet either.