7 Things Not to Worry About While Dating

My friends usually call me Dr. Love. Not because I’ve put up Gene Simmons like numbers with the ladies, but because my dating advice is always dead on. I’ve helped them, and myself, survive the stressful world of dating. Over the years, both personally and observantly, I’ve learned numerous techniques to assist people come out of the dating game unscathed, and, how to have a lasting relationship. Typically, it boils down to seven things to not worry about.

7. Looking at Porn

Let’s be honest here, we all look at porn at some point. Of course, us men are stereotyped as watching more than women. However, a 2007 study discovered that around 13 million women in America were viewing porn at least once a month. Ladies, admit it, you like porn too. What’s interesting is that a third of women actually consider it cheating when their man watches porn. I don’t know if this is a double-standard for women, but watching porn doesn’t make a guy a cheater. While we enjoy porn, most of us would never actually want to date a porn star, or even actually consider cheating on you. We watch it because it makes us happy. That’s been scientifically proven. Or, we’re just bored. But, that doesn’t mean that we take our girlfriends for granted.

6. Facebook Staus

Everyone has a Facebook account, except me because I’m above that, but that doesn’t mean that they’re on it 24/7. Believe it or not, some people can go days without logging in. I know that sounds crazy. There are also people that are too preoccupied with other real life events to remember changing something like their relationship status. In short, just because a person’s relationship status hasn’t changed doesn’t mean that they’re not serious about being in one. You know, in real life. All the people that really matter already know. Is it really worth getting stressed out that your best friend from 6th grade’s cousin knows you’re in a new relationship?

Continuing with my Facebook rant, let’s briefly touch upon profile pics. Let’s say your profile pic is of you and your boyfriend/girlfriend, then one day it’s a solo picture. Does that mean your relationship is on thin ice? Not necessarily. Maybe the person in question just had this picture taken, and it’s really good. Plus, the previous pic was months old, so it was time for a change. Unless your significant other posts a new picture of him/her with someone of the opposite sex, and looking a little too friendly, there’s nothing too fuss about.

Finally, if you’re worried about your significant other chatting with an ex, sit down with them and tell them how you feel, before you assume they’re rekindling a relationship. Remember, being in a relationship brings people extremely close to each other, so if a relationship ended on good terms, there’s a good possibility of people remaining friends. Maybe these people haven’t spoken to each other in years, and recently found each other via Facebook. Besides the pity parties, isn’t that what social networking is about? Finding long lost people in life. Overall, if you’re relationship is indeed in trouble, act like adults, and not a 12 year old. Actually have a conversion, and don’t just beat around the bush on Facebook. If you can’t trust someone because of Facebook, how can you trust them when they go to work or out with friends?

5. Not Responding Instantly

In modern day society, we expect to reach anyone, and everyone, whenever we want. We also expect to get a response from them instantly. Perhaps it’s the instant gratification world we live in. While it’s nerve raking to not hear back from someone, we need to just sit back and relax. Just like Facebook, not everyone responds right away. We’re all busy people. There’s numerous things that can distract us from getting back in touch with someone. If you text, call or leave a message on Facebook, give the person some time to respond. Don’t panic if it’s only been an hour. You’re going to look like a psycho if you track that person down only to find out that they had to work overtime. Trust me, if you’re in a relationship, you will hear back from your partner. But what if something happened to them? Again, if you are a serious couple, you will found out if they’re were injured, or had a family emergency.

4. Changing Appearance

This one always bothers me when you’re on the hunt. Just be yourself. Don’t try to put on a facade, it will come back to haunt you. I’m not saying to go out looking like you just rolled out of bed. But, if you’re a t-shirt and jean person, than be a t-shirt and jean person, just wear the clean pair. Once you’re in a relationship, don’t feel embarrassed if you put on a few pounds. or are having a bad hair day. There’s a reason why someone is dating you, and it’s not all about appearance. If you’re relationship is a sinking ship because of a slight appearance change, we’re not talking about completely letting yourself go, than that person is a douche, and you can do better.

3. Changing Your Life

Being in a relationship is a major event in your life. It’s going to change a lot of things, but don’t turn your world upside down. If you spend Sundays with your friends eating pizza and watching football, then continue it. It’s all about compromise. A balance between giving and receiving. You need to have your individual lives, or you’ll go nuts.

It’s also been said that bending over backwards for someone is a trait of low self-esteem. That means you’re going to have a lot of obstacles to overcome while dating. Also remember, if you alienate your friends and family, because of a relationship, they may not be there if things go sour.

2. The Past

We all learn from the past. I believe this makes us all better human beings. But bringing your old luggage to a new relationship will prevent things from blossoming into something truly wonderful. Talking about how many people you’ve slept with, or yakking away about all the adventures you and your ex had, will only cause you to go mental. A million questions will begin to run through your head, like, “Am I better in bed?”, “Does he still talk to his ex?”, “Why did they break-up?”, “Will she get back with him?”, and so forth. You only need to know the basics about previous relationships. If you pry, as mentioned, you’ll go crazy, and will probably start to look a little jealous. Just realize that this person is with you now. So, if their ex was so great, they’d probably still be together.

1. The Future

One thing I’ve learned from dating is that there is a lot of planning. Whether it’s when the next time you will talk to each other, what your weekend plans will be, or where to go for a vacation, it’s all part of the whole dating experience, having moments that are yours. Of course, there are also the big plans, like marriage, children, etc. Sure, you want to make sure that some of your goals will match up with each other, or you could waste years of your life on a pointless relationship. What I’m talking about is obsessing about the future. Life loves to throw us curve-balls, and we can’t do anything about it. We can’t predict the future either, whether you like it or not. We can’t plan on where we’re going to be in five years. Perhaps a new job opportunity arrives across the country. Maybe after years of not wanting a kid, you realize that you do. To keep this short and sweet, have a vague plan, but just roll with the punches. If you don’t, you might miss the only thing that is actually real, the present.

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