Celebrity

Alpha Male of the Month: Tucker Max

Our first selection for Amog’s inaugural installment of the Alpha Male of the Month award should be a real trendsetter, a man who possesses all the qualities of the quintessential Alpha Male. Every budding alpha male should have a bucket list of personality traits and deeds they aspire to complete before they die.

Foremost on the list, one should include effortlessly meeting beautiful women while being unintelligibly drunk. Then one should proceed to perform drunken coitus with said women and with many more women than thought imaginable, followed by having unbelievable stories of breaking laws and avoiding fights with angry rednecks, performing other amazing shenanigans no one will believe, and topping it all off with a certain fearless certainty.

I mean, most men have shameful doubts of guilt, even the most hardened of Alpha Males. This is not the case for our trendsetter. This man is Tucker Max. If you are not familiar with Mr. Max, let’s have a brief introduction.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kUqreSuvVTU[/youtube]

If these video clips didn’t do it for you, the first line of his website/blog says it all: “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole.” Now I know what you are all thinking, Max doesn’t really look like the stereotypical meathead or Alpha Male who gets all the women.

Just read a few of the stories from his blog and you will understand. The son of a successful South Florida restaurateur, Max parlayed his wild and crazy days at the University Chicago and Duke Law School into a lucrative and successful book deal, an appearance on an MTV dating show, a wide range of speaking engagements, as well as this recent motion picture.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6Fj-aEqwNQ[/youtube]

This guy is being PAID to tell people his escapades, if that isn’t convincing enough.

Max, along with his insane group of friends, have slept with and alienated women all across North America. Most famously, in 2003, Tucker wrote about his hookup with Katy Johnson, former Miss Vermont of 1999, and she sued in order to keep their relationship and breakup secret. According to Tucker, after meeting her at a gym and taking her out to dinner, they started getting it on in the middle of a grassy area in a road median. Things progressed to the backseat of her Ford Explorer, after which the next morning Johnson’s mother found his dirty underwear in the backseat.

As if things couldn’t get worse, Tucker goes into detail about how he finally dumped her after attending a friend’s wedding with her, which included an insane amount of drinking, vomiting, and mayhem. Essentially he treated her like shit and she LOVED it…almost stalking him and not being able to accept he didn’t want her anymore because she acted like a clown… a beauty queen of all women with this guy!

She tried to sue him and Max temporarily had to take the story down from his website, but eventually the suit was dropped and the story exists to this day on his website for all to see. This story isn’t even the best of the bunch.

tucker

After reading a couple of his life experiences, you’ll be thinking a couple things to yourself. Either you will think, “He is lying” or “This is the most soulless and disgusting man on the face of the earth, what a vile douche bag.” He isn’t lying, and after reading more and more of his addicting escapades, you truly begin to understand that Tucker Max is something special.

While ostentatiously he ruins women, will probably die of cirrhosis of the liver, and bangs women you and I only dream about, what’s most interesting about Tucker Max and what concerns us the most is that he created an entirely new form of nonfiction. Tucker Max is at the forefront of a new male literary art form.

Max is a catalyst for the burgeoning nonfiction movement known as fratire. These authors claim men and boys have been wussified for far too long in our politically correct age, and these fratire writers are at the frontlines of making Alpha Maledom socially acceptable once again.

Therefore, Tucker Max, for all that you have done and all you are doing for Alpha Males nationwide, we salute you as our inaugural Alpha Male of the Month.

Leave a Comment

  1. Tucker Max is funnnnny. I think he exaggerates how much of an asshole he is sometimes in his writing. In these interviews he seems like a cool guy who just likes to bust people's balls, which is fine by me. It's funny!

  2. God says:

    Tucker Max is fucking terrible. That movie was a disaster. Awful, unfunny, unoriginal humor. Horrendous.

  3. scylla says:

    His stories are very funny. People often miss the fact that he is often very self-deprecating. He has no problem humiliating himself. This, along with his obvious intelligence, makes for an interesting dichotomy when placed alongside his drunken escapades. I work on projects with Maddox, another writer of "guy" humor, and he introduced me to Tucker once at a party. He was pretty cool, even though I'm a fat chick. I'm not sure if their goal is to make that kind of writing socially acceptable–if so, they've got their work cut out for them! Whichever way it goes, I think it'll be an interesting ride. Women always say they want to know what men are thinking. It's finally time for them to find out.

  4. Mornin, fake fake, specially from the major news corperations with the big slants to the left or right. Did you see last nights O’Rielly factor? haha, that was rediculous! Sorry, I am rambling on over again. Have a Good one!