Offbeat

The Last Angry Cat: Jury Duty Slated For Feline

In keeping with tradition of bureaucratic red tape mix-ups and the true story of a man who a few decades ago received in the mail a notice of his own death, the Suffolk Superior Crown Court in Boston has summoned a tabby cat named Sal for jury duty.

How could such a thing happen? Well, the original error appears to have been unwittingly committed by Sal’s owner, Anna Esposito, who included Sal in the last census under the “pets” section. While this was not an error by itself, it opened the door for the ensuing confusion concerning Sal, who was instead recorded as a two-legged human being with civic duties and responsibilities.

Even after Anna brought a note from the vet attesting to the fact that an error had been made and that the real Sal Esposito was a domestic short-haired neutered feline who was “unable to speak and understand English”, the jury commissioner insisted that Tabby Sal, “must attend” the next jury session slated for March 23.

In desperation, a frustrated Anna told the press:

“When they ask him, guilty or not guilty, what will Sal say, miaow?”

One can only speculate as to how far this error can go before the powers-that-be finally realize that the embarrassed face they are trying to save is beyond redemption.

Will this poor cat have to pay income tax next year or serve in the armed forces? Who will collect his refund and can he sue if they keep it from him?

The moral of this story is that anyone can make a mistake even a government. If they are not careful, Mr. Sal’s name may well appear on a presidential ballot some day.

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