Here’s Your Sign: Bill Engvall On Hating Stupid People

Born on July 27, 1957 in Galvaston, Texas, William Ray Engvall, Jr. has been making us laugh for almost two decades.

Before he became a comedian, Bill was working as a DJ in a nightclub and was studying to become a teacher. At a club one night, he told some jokes at nightclub and the rest is pretty much history. He went to St. Louis for a short while to do stand-up at the local clubs until he decided to take his chances in California. Boy did it ever pay off.


Engvall co-hosted a television special called Pair of Jokers with Rosie O’Donnell in 1990, appeared on Evening at the Improv on A&E, and also made an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. After that, he appeared on television programs here and there and even had a part on the very short lived sit-com The Jeff Foxworthy Show, which only lasted one season.

He’s also continued to “wow” us onstage with his hilarious antics. Engvall has made several albums including Here’s Your Sign (1997), Dorkfish (1998), and his newest 15 Degrees Off Cool. (2007).

In 2003, he linked up with the other three members of the Blue Collar Comedy team as they did their first tour called the Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie. Aside from continuing his career with the Blue Collar gang, Engvall has is own sitcom called The Bill Engvall Show on TBS network and he also hosts the show Country Fried Home Videos on CMT network.

What Bill Engvall is most famous for is his catch phrase “Here’s your sign”. His explanation of this: “I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that say, ‘I’m Stupid’. That way you wouldn’t rely on them, and you wouldn’t ask them for nothing.”

From there, Engvall took it upon himself to hand out these imaginary signs to anyone acting stupid. Here are his best.

  • (In a hallway waiting for an elevator) A stranger approaches and asks, “Excuse me, are these the elevators that go up?” Engvall replies, “No, these are the ones that go side to side. The ones that go up are down the hall.” Engvall then explains to the audience, “He walked away!”
  • (In a store buying pants) The clerk asks, “Are you gonna buy these?” Engvall’s reply: “Nope, gonna steal ’em. Just wanted you to see them before I walked out of the store. Here’s your sign.”
  • Engvall’s wife (Gail) says, “Why do they put those [deer crossing] signs up? Deer can’t read.” Engvall’s reply: “No, but they can recognize pictures of themselves. Here’s your sign.”
  • (Engvall and a buddy were getting off of a boat with a string full of bass) A stranger asks, “You catch all those fish?” Engvall’s reply: “Nope. Talked ’em into givin’ up. Here’s your sign.”
  • (On the phone at an airport talking to his wife explaining that the plane hit a deer) Engvall’s wife says, “Oh my God! Were you on the ground?” Engvall’s reply: “Nope, Santa was making one last run. Here’s your sign”.


As he’s been entertaining us for nearly 20 years, this talented comedian and actor will maintain longevity. When you see him on stage, you can tell that he truly loves what he does. The great thing about Bill Engvall is that if you ask five people what their favorite joke is, they’ll all tell you something different because his act has something for everyone.

Leave a Comment

  1. jason says:

    Personally I like Bill Engvall. I like the bit he does about getting new bed sheets when your kids are just born – hilarious!

  2. Rick says:

    Bill is hilarious. I'm glad he got a show on TBS – very funny!
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