Whether you’re hunting a big game in your city park, getting digits at your local coffee shop, or wooing women at your pad; dogs are, frankly, a chick magnet. In fact, the right dog can even help make the transaction go through. But – more crucially – you need to use the right kind of dog in the right way.
For instance, certain dogs work better with certain girls. Also, for best results, the first key step in using a dog to increase your hook up ratio is choosing a dog that matches your own personality. If you are on the smaller side and you get a giant Rottweiler, you run the risk of looking like you’re compensating for something. Work to your strengths.
To help navigate your various potential encounters, here is a list of some of the top chick-getting dog breeds out there.
1. The Basenji
Hailing from Africa, the Basenji boasts one of the most impressive pedigrees in dogdom. Ancient Egyptian pharaohs kept these regal looking bad boys around as symbols of their majesty and their greatness (the pharaohs’, that is). Basenjis are barkless dogs – that’s right, they literally cannot bark – although they do yodel, whimper, and make other interesting sounds. They also have a cute little ring tail that women find irresistible.
Basenjis are great for landing the smart hottie, as they have a clean, sharp, astute look. No drooling or big-dog goofiness that can be a turn off for smarter females. Plus, the history and power of their pedigree appeal to the smart girls’ intelligence and desire for depth. They are also racing dogs, and those skills increase their attraction – but don’t try to outrun your little Basenji to impress your date, because you’ll lose big time.
2. The Puggle
This combination of Pug and Beagle is becoming more and more popular these days. With its floppy little ears, dear face, and sweet eyes, the Puggle makes for a fantastic chick trap. Though their universal cuteness make them excellent bait for almost all women, Puggles tend to need a lot of attention – as well as cuddling – so this pooch is perfect to hook in (and continue on with) the nurturing types. They are medium-sized dogs and coloring includes light brownish, black, and white. Note – according to owner reports, they fart a lot, so you may want to confine your girl-hunting to the outdoors.
3. Rottweiler Pitbull mix
Searching for your princess? Like women that are as tough or tougher than you? Then your choice is a Rottweiler Pit-bull mix. It’s rumored that most of these animals were bred specifically to be vicious. Many in this breed are big, scary, loud, and tempestuous in disposition.
At least that’s the legend – in reality, however, these dogs respond to training and affection just like any other pooches. If you raise your Rottweiler Pit-bull mix to be a ferocious beast, guess what? It will become a ferocious beast. If, on the other hand, you raise it to be a genteel subservient companion, he/she will serve you with loyalty and good disposition. But no matter what, the puppies are as cute as they come and the adults are intensely tough-looking – two opposing traits that every tough chick possesses and looks for in others.
Just kidding. Pick up chicks with a poodle? Are you out of your mind?
5. Golden Retriever
Long haired, golden, loyal, playful, and kind of smelly (attributes of many a great man), the Golden Retriever has long been a staple of American dog culture. This is a perfect dog for attracting the low-maintenance corn-fed midwestern types who populate the sororities of mid tier colleges. Good, friendly girls that are easy to get along with.
Be forewarned, though – many of these same women are in school to get their MRS degree. The marital factor is only increased by the fact that Golden Retrievers are very popular family dogs, so having one will give you an air of stability and husbandliness in the eyes of many. Tread carefully. If you are going go the Golden route, some of the women you are inviting into your life will want some kind of long-term commitment.
You should also be aware that many chicks tend to be allergic to long haired dogs, so to maximize your potential universe of dates, keep your Golden groomed, dedandered, and generally smelling as fresh as a daisy.
6. St. Bernard
Are you living in a northern climate area where attractive women are as rare as polar bears? If so, the St. Bernard maybe the chick magnet for you! Hang a little barrel around its neck and fill it up with some moonshine, preferably of the XXX variety. Then tromp out into the snow looking for damsels in distress to rescue.
Your typical St. Bernard is hardy, big, loyal, and indomitable. OK, so most of the women you meet will not be in any distress – at least not life threatening. But having a St. Bernard still gives you that ability, even if unused, and gives off that air of safety and security that women crave. Plus the St. Bernard’s ruggedness and warmth are strong attractors in the colder climates where the women like to bundle up with a little fur.
And though your chances of actually saving someone’s life with your St. Bernard are relatively small, if you do revive a damsel in distress, your chances of scoring as a result have just exploded off the charts.
7. French Bulldog
Do you like dogs that slobber? A lot? A bulldog’s smelly drool can coat your furniture, get in your hands, and skeeve off a significant percentage of potentially available women folk. But a certain breed (if you will) of women finds French Bulldogs irresistible. They are perfect for those girls that think a man should just be a man. The girls that think a sweaty man is a manly man. The ones that are turned on when your deodorant wears off.
I’m not just talking about French girls, here, either. French Bulldogs tend to have super cute faces which can be scrunched up and yanked around, and they are friendly as all get out. In their case cuteness trumps droolness, too, and since you are using the French Bully to pick up women, that’s all you need in the short term.
8. Border Collie
Remember the classic TV show Lassie? Lassie was a Border Collie. If you get a “Lassie” of your own, be prepared to give the dog tons of romping room. This is not an indoor dog! These are active, action oriented dogs, and they attract active, action-oriented women. If you live in the suburbs or on some swath of farmland somewhere, this playful bounding beast can be a great companion for frisbee, wrestling, and even hunting. And if your highly-active sex with your action-oriented girl knocks over numerous candles before making you both pass out, the Border Collie will pull you both out of the burning building.
This tiny little rat of a dog has earned its fair share of ridicule, no thanks to Taco Bell, “Beverly Hills Chihuahua,” and other pop culture representations that define them as little more than walking Mexican stereotypes. Then there’s the fact that they were actually bred with rats. Seriously. Look it up.
However, first of all, most women don’t know that. Second, Chihuahuas are highly successful as a super secret weapon for picking up the high class chick. Few dogs get a higher pitched or more enthusiastic “he’s so CUUUTE” than the Chihuahua. Instant connection. Given the Chihuahua’s stereotype, however, only confident, masculine men should use this hound to get play – the dog’s diminutive size and demeanor will draw a flattering contrast with your swarthiness, and you also be able to show-off your sensitive side.
10. Bichon Frise
This medium sized curly haired white dog has nearly boundless amounts of energy. Be prepared to walk your Bichon often and bathe, clip, delouse, and de-putrefy at random and inconvenient times. The upside is that your pooch’s playfulness and lovability and stout but not intimidating size makes him/her a perfect all purpose chick magnet. In fact, depending on your personality and the types of chicks you are into, you can stylize your Bichon and your approach any way you want to in order to attract whatever type of girl you after at present. This is the tofu of chick magnet dogs.
11. House Cat
This is an article about dogs! Is a cat a dog? No. The point is that cats can often times be better than dogs at picking up chicks. They are self cleaning, they don’t require walking and pooper scooping, they smell good, and they require almost no attention. Moreover, they tend to be finicky and choosy – traits which chicks themselves often exhibit. And owning a cat proudly kind of means that you have nothing to hide and that you are not trying to put on any airs. And a kitten increases the perception of your sensitivity even higher, while taking all the previous traits and catapulting them to the nth level of cuteness – basically little furball kryptonite for women. In one glance – one single instant – you have displayed virtually all the traits women find attractive, and they are putty in your hands. Take it from there.