Name: Raz Metaz, son, twice-removed of Daz Metaz and James, aka “All that Jazz” Metaz. Two children with wife, Tara Boom Deay; twin boys named respectively, Razzle and Dazzle.
Birthday: Sunday or Monday, June 5 or 6, 1952 or 1953. It all depends upon what type they are looking for.
Birthplace: under the Hollywood sign; under the “H” to be exact.
Current Residence: under the Hollywood sign; under the “H” to be exact.
Ethnic Background: I am not certain, but I have always been told that my true ancestry is Far Out Eastern.
Description: I’ve been told I’m a Liberace look-alike, but my wife says I look more like his piano; that is, lacquered white skin, of slim build, out of tune (and or sorts) and usually (at least on work nights) upright.
Education: Hollywood High (when it used to be in Santa Monica), The College of The Stars (wherever that is) and The School of Hard Knocks, which gave me the courage to pursue a career in the entertainment field despite warnings to the contrary.
Favorite Places to Visit: the theater where the Oscars are held; Grauman’s Chinese Theater (I have an elbow print there), the land of Oz (and Judy Garland too, when I am really feeling down).
Favorite Movies: A Star Might Have Been Born; Glitz and Dung: A True Hollywood Success Story; Rich Man, Stupid Man; Upstairs, Downstairs and on the Main Floor.
Favorite Department Store: Neiman Starkiss
Favorite Accessories: Very dark glasses with sequined frames, autograph books and pens (his and her models), matching socks and Cat’s Meow “Star Struck” Pajamas, which depict stars colliding into the sun and are only available on special back order from my favorite department store, Neiman Starkiss.
Favorite Pastimes: Reading the biographies of anyone who was short and had pimples who made it in the entertainment field and avoiding paparazzi who are always in search of others anyway.
Favorite Proverb: Don’t Call Us; We Won’t Call You
Plans For The Future: I hope to star in the next epic extravaganza, Idiots in Space, starring well, I can’t quite recall my slated co-stars at the moment. After that, I just might write my own biography as I hear it’s easier than writing about someone else’s life.