Sexy to You and Comfort for Her: A Guide to Purchasing Lingerie

So, your relationship has moved to a new level and you’re ready to buy her some lingerie. Not only is this a huge step, but it’s also a crucial one.

There are certain things that you could do when purchasing lingerie that would send off entirely the wrong message. Most times, this is completely unintentional and you won’t even know where you went wrong.

This really isn’t your fault. The problem is that when you walk into a lingerie store, there are tons of items, most of which you can’t even identify. They’re all in different styles, sizes, and materials -how are you supposed to know what the right choice is?

If you’ve chosen anything out of all of these items, you might even consider that you’ve done a great job getting that far. However, your wife or girlfriend won’t see it that way if you choose the wrong thing. Here are some tips to help you survive in the lingerie jungle.


Remember for whom the lingerie is being purchased.

The tendency for some men is to go for that slutty look. You know what I’m talking about: the crotchless panties, the French maid’s outfit, or the tight leather. There is a slight possibility she may be into this, but chances are she’s not.

Though you may find this incredibly sexy, your mate will most likely be repulsed that you thought she might be interested in wearing it. You should be very careful when purchasing lingerie – you want the gift to say, “I care about you” or “I love you”, not, “I just think of you as a piece of ass”. Though that may not be your intention, if you give her something too slutty, this is the only message she’s likely to get.


Do your homework.

This is a huge part about shopping for lingerie for your lover; don’t leave anything up to guesswork. Before you even begin to purchase lingerie, you should find out her size, the colors she wears, the style(s), and even the material(s) she likes. It sounds like a lot, but it’s not as difficult at it seems.

First thing’s first – when you have an opportunity to do so, go into her dresser drawers and look at what she already has. The most important thing is to look at her size. If you get the size wrong, you may be headed for trouble.

Here’s the problem: bras and panties go by different sizing methods and full lingerie outfits are even different from that. If she has some full lingerie outfits, look at the size of that. If not, look at the size of her bra and the size of her panties. If you can tell a sales clerk her bra and panties size, she’ ll be able to help you.

For colors, you can not only look at her lingerie, but look at the colors she wears every day. These are the colors she likes and feels comfortable in. Also, it’s important to pay attention to her style. Does she like things to look nice? Does she normally put style before comfort or comfort before style? Does she like the more subtle looks or does she prefer more flashy clothes that get her noticed?

Lastly, you will want to pay attention to the types of fabric she wears. This one is sometimes difficult for men because a lot of men know what cotton, lace, and leather are. The rest is a mystery. Here’s the secret: You don’t need to educate yourself in fabrics. Look at the label of what she already owns and it will tell you on the tag.

If you have to, take notes when going through her wardrobe. At this stage, it will probably still feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, and you’ll be sure that you’re going to screw it up. As long as you’ve paid attention and taken notes, you’ll be fine; when you walk into the lingerie store, it will make more sense.

If it doesn’t, always ask for help. At this point, you have all of the information that the clerk needs to effectively help you choose something that your mate will love.


Things to Avoid

Make sure that you don’t purchase anything that says “control”, “flattening”, or “reducing”. These are all items that will make particular parts of her body such as her stomach or butt appear smaller. It’s okay for her to purchase these things for herself. However, if you do it, it will seem as if you’re calling her fat. Of course this isn’t your intention, but I guarantee that she’ll take it that way.

Stay away from item that say “gel filled”, water filled”, or “pushup”. These are items that increase the appearance of her bust size or cleavage. If you see something like this in her dresser drawers, you may want to consider this for the future, but not for a first purchase. If you see nothing like this in her wardrobe, then you should never purchase any of these items.

The last thing you want her to think is that  that you’re not happy with the way her body looks.


Miscellaneous Pointers

Timing can be somewhat important on giving a gift such as this. First of all, if you have just become intimate with your mate for the first time, you shouldn’t purchase lingerie right away because it may give her the message that you only think of her in a sexual nature. Next, you should of course give this type of gift when the two of you are alone.

Presentation of the gift is also very important. You can’t just hand it to her in a bag. It’s best to have it professionally wrapped. This sends a few messages. First, it lets her know right off the bat that your heart is in the right place. You have tried and put a lot of thought and effort into this. Second, it says that you have thought of every last detail. Third, of course is that it looks nice and makes a great overall presentation.

Save the receipt just in case you need to return it, and lastly, ask her if she honestly likes it. You want her to know that you really care about how she feels and this isn’t a gift to you, but it’s truly a gift for her. When she puts it on, even if it’s not what you would have picked out, let her know how beautiful she looks.

If you follow this guide, you should be successful in your lingerie shopping endeavors. Though you may not get exactly what she wants, it will be close and she’ll see the effort.  And that, gentlemen, will only assist you in getting what you want in the end.

And in case you were wondering…her name is Denise Milani (we know what you’re really thinking about!)

Leave a Comment

  1. omg, so cool lingerie

  2. Wow, what a great resource! Thanks for sharing this


    wimminz R t3h cr4zie

  4. Good job showing maturity in your response

  5. says:

    start with something girly if your afraid of offending. Make her feel sexy not slutty and then you can take it from there 🙂