Gadgets

Lamest Gadget of the Month: Swiss Flash USB Knife

There’s nothing like a good old fashioned Swiss Army knife with you during a camping trip or getting out of a MacGyver type situation.

I bet that at one point almost every red blooded American guy owned one, or at least wanted one every since your friend down the street got one for his birthday.

And, why not? The Swiss Army knife has all your basic tools in one piece, like a knife, screwdriver,  bottle opener, etc. It’s portable, reliable and looks pretty damn cool too.  Since 1897 the Swiss Army knife has been the world renown defacto knife to carry around.

Although, over the years the Swiss Army knife has become bulkier and has become equipped with some pretty unnecessary equipment.

But the makers of the legendary Swiss Army knife have now outdone themselves and have created one of the lamest gadgets that I’ve seen out there today.

swiss-flash-usb-knife

Yeah, it looks kinda cool and in theory could be useful, but the Swissflash is utterly lame and pointless. Here are five reasons on why not to give a shit.

1. No real man is going to buy one of these.

There is no need for a guy to take a flash drive, or laser pointer, into the wild; he’s going to have some real gear with him. While I’m pretty sure that this is for business men, this is still marketed as a Swiss Army knife for the 21st Century, so you can now take this knife camping, on a plane, or use in the office. But, as a whole, having a knife with a flash drive, laser pointer and pen are going to be pretty useless in the woods. Unless someone wants to escape the grasp of an attacking bear by shooting the laser in it’s eyes.

2. Would any serious business man really buy one of these excuses of a knife?

Sure, he’s going to have a flash drive, but not one with a knife in it. Can you imagine someone actually using a Swiss Army knife during a presentation. I’m sure his colleagues will be thinking either this dude is a lunatic or he still lives at home with mom. While reviews of the Swissflash have stated that the flash drive itself is very effective, it’s still a novelty item. If you’re looking for a flash drive that kicks butt, then I suggest the Corsair Flash Voyager GT. It’s fast, slick, rugged and will cost a lot less then the Swissflash.

3. Some moron, or wise ass,  will try to sneak this through security, whether at an office, school or airport.

Now, this isn’t a huge enough concern for American National Security that a war with Switzerland would ensue, but there’s a lot of dumb people out there. I won’t be surprised if you hear a couple of stories about someone trying to sneak this knife somewhere they’re not supposed to, on the basis that it’s actually a flash drive. While you can remove the flash drive part from the knife, I’m sure some folks won’t remember to do so.

4. Anything with a laser pointer is lame.

Sure, laser pointers were cool for five minutes when I was ten, but that was a long time and anyone owning a laser pointer should not be able to have children for fear of passing on the stupidity gene. Laser pointers are just obnoxious and pretty obsolete, there’s actually no need to continue marketing them.

5. The price isn’t right.

The Swissflash will set you back $165 for a the 16GB model! You could buy a standard  flash drive, a real knife and have some cash left over for something like beer. All of those sound better to me. While you can find cheaper versions, depending on the model, I still wouldn’t pay that amount for this ridiculous novelty.

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