Lifestyle

Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

Seriously, hipsters suck. What they have done to music and fashion is nothing short of a monumental travesty to the DIY ethic developed by the punk rock, post-punk, and underground music scenes that blossomed and thrived between the 70s and early 90s. If you live in a cave and don’t know exactly what a hipster is, this quote from Time Magazine sums them up pretty nicely:

“Hipsters are the friends who sneer when you cop to liking Coldplay. They’re the people who wear T-shirts silk-screened with quotes from movies you’ve never heard of and the only ones in America who still think Pabst Blue Ribbon is a good beer. They sport cowboy hats and berets and think Kanye West stole their sunglasses. Everything about them is exactingly constructed to give off the vibe that they just don’t care. ”

Christian Lorentzen, a writer for Timeout New York, also gives a good description of the current state of hipster culture:

“Under the guise of ‘irony,’ hipsterism fetishizes the authentic and regurgitates it with a winking inauthenticity. Those 18-to-34-year-olds called hipsters have defanged, skinned and consumed the fringe movements of the postwar era—Beat, hippie, punk, even grunge. Hungry for more, and sick with the anxiety of influence, they feed as well from the trough of the uncool, turning white trash chic, and gouging the husks of long-expired subcultures—vaudeville, burlesque, cowboys and pirates… Hipsters in their present undead incarnation are essentially people who think of themselves as being cooler than America.”

You can spot a hipster from a mile away.

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 6.16.33 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 6.32.48 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 6.15.14 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 6.20.35 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 6.18.02 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

They also buy ridiculous clothes from American Apparel:

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 7.13.23 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 7.14.40 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

You might see them at your local Urban Outfitters:

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 7.16.52 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

A store that sells stuff like this:

Screen shot 2010 03 01 at 7.18.15 PM Why Hipsters Suck and How They Are Ruining the World

If you want to see hipsters at their worst, go to the greatest website ever: LATFH. It looks at the decadent, horrible characture of its former self that independent music and fashion became by showing photos of outlandishly dressed and oftentimes passed out drunk hipsters and providing links to videos of terrible songs.

The worst band ever, BrokeNCYDE, was listed on their site. While most of the most high browed and elite of hipsterdom would never admit to liking this crap, there is a segment of the 14-18 year old crowd that genuinely likes this music. Be warned, you will never be the same again after watching.

Seriously, this is worst song ever: Freaxx.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TH5ibABP4U[/youtube]

It’s so scary that they actually played this horrible crap on TRL on MTV, a true testament of how bad MTV is:

[myspace]http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=38201541[/myspace]

Another shit-covered gem by them, 40 oz:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWQ89wNOfLw[/youtube]

Who would seriously likes this music?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNXb5roCBUY[/youtube]

The high browed hipster would listen to something like this:

Animal Collective- My Girls

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zol2MJf6XNE[/youtube]

Or something dancey, like this:

Hercules and Love Affair- Blind

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb8S51M2GAc[/youtube]

While that was all pretty frightening, what’s even more sad and scary is that hipsters have invaded popular culture. In this episode of Law & Order Criminal Intent, a young hipster probably deservedly gets stabbed in a bad neighborhood.

Sadly, it doesn’t stop there. Hipsters and hipster culture are showing up on reality TV and HBO. Apparently, there is casting going on to make a reality show based on hipsters in the Silver Lake area of Los Angeles. HBO already gave us “Flight of the Conchords” and the new show “How to make it in America,” and is developing a series about two aspiring female hipsters who move from the hipster capital of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to the Silver Lake area.

In closing, hipsters have added nothing significant or new to anything in the last decade while invading and saturating culture. They are cool only in their own minds, and really just need to get a life. We will leave you with these great series of videos, called Breakfast at Sulimay’s. There are a ton of them on Youtube. They chronicle the reactions of 3 old people listening to hipster and other types of music, and more often than not, are left horrified or unimpressed. Priceless.

MGMT

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lXEF55cjHy0[/youtube]

Young Jeezy & Animal Collective

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICwLI96qWic[/youtube]

DJ Tiesto & Volcano Choir

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYlodrVPEDA[/youtube]

Leave a Comment

  1. Jennifer says:

    haha great article. srsly i live in LA and i salute this article by saying FUCK ALL HIPSTERS. This city is LITTERED with them. Silverlake is a fucking JOKE and poor Echo Park a place where low income families used to find affordable housing are now finding a bunch of spoiled hipster idiots moving in and raising property value in this neighborhood that sits next to SilverFAKE. Its pathetic that Generation X and Generation Y have disinegrated to this shitty fake group of idiots. These fuckers dont vote, dont care about the war, and wouldnt know anything about the current political climate yet they try to emulate the hippes?? There's this faggot named Matthew Teardrop who has an utterly SHITTY mediocre band called Manhattan Murder Mystery that is worth destroying. Go to their youtube videos and vimeo and talk shit to them, cuz this guy is a total hipster douchebag and his shit-kid friends are all elitist subpar musicians. Fuck all hipsters/

  2. Apathetic J says:

    and you just gave MMM (a damn good band btw) way more press than if you just kept your bitch ass shut

    and who the fuck listens to brokencyde anyways??? not anybody i know in east hollywood

  3. instantpedestrian says:

    yeah, a hipster would complain about hipsters

  4. fuckface says:

    yeah i know that faggot too such a douche, his band does suck

  5. Rants&Raves says:

    You obviously must be a hipster yourself since you reek of the political outcry. Tell me jenifer did you vote? Is your Car a Prius? And most importantly do you know a damn thing about music? I don't think you do. I personally think MMM is one of the better bands in the LA area and maybe if you weren't so focused on looks or social cliches, you could open up your ears and actually hear the music, not the scene. elitist? sub par? You sound like a bitch, and an uniformed one at that. Do your self a favor, next time your drinking your soy chai at the Casbah cafe, blogging about silverfake on your mac pro laptop that mommy and daddy bought you, zip up your skinny jeans so you dont wind up talking out of your ass..

    • MC shithead says:

      good lord. shut the fuck up. MMM is a terrible band. regardless of their musical talent or merit, they themselves are obviously focused on looks and social cliches. just look at them. fucking clones. "do you drive a prius?" are you fucking serious? theres plenty of people that drive a prius, most of who are not hipsters. so seriously, shut your mouth. you're entire argument here was garbage.

    • poop stick says:

      Sorry dude but your just wrong. Hipsters cant see themselves form the outside so they don't comprehend how completely artificial, ignorant and worthless there "culture" is. So naturally you don't get it. Hipster

      Hipster is the new "N" word.

  6. Chris says:

    MGMT are morons. It was Friedrich Nietzsche not Mark Twain who said "If you stare into the Abyss long enough the Abyss stares back at you."

    That is not irony, it just rank ignorance… hipsters are an embarassment to the human race.

  7. Arthur Dismachek says:

    I would like to finish by saying to be truly original you have to have your own opinion. Originality has nothing to do with how you dress, or what music you listen to cause there is some one else who probably listens to that too and thinks the same because they believe the crap that everyone else tells them. stop caring about what people think and start caring about making your self a better person making your life better and better for those around your.
    P.s. I am in generation Y as they say I was born in the 90's and i dont take any thing any tells me as fact i do not fancy my opinion as corect but i am open minded to critism and other veiws please tell me how you feel about what i have said in an intelligent way with proper gramar and spellin No lol's or rotfl or u's or i will not consider it. as a logical debate

  8. Colin says:

    Well, Coldplay does actually suck donkey balls, but yeah I love that I can judge a whole demographic based on thier clothes and hair.

    • Holly says:

      If you don't like Coldplay you just don't know what good music is. Period. The only way someone can listen to Coldplay and say they don't like them is if it's simply because they're "too popular." Coldplay's music is fucking genius and kicks 99.999% of those little indie bands asses, whether you can admit it or not. What's so funny about hipsters is that they just can't stand to like something that most people like. It has nothing to do with whether it's good or not. They could love a band and the moment they become popular they'll come up with a lame excuse to hate them. True story.

  9. Ball Swaggle says:

    I think commenting on this page makes you a hipster…. oh fuck no!!!!

  10. awesomesuace says:

    sure. call me a hipster because i have far better taste in music than you.

  11. masta says:

    hipsters may suck, but mainstream american culture is just as bad.

  12. Time says:

    The minute you label yourself and limit your horizons you have become the problem. That is why the hipster culture fails.

  13. Dan says:

    There are plenty of people who have written far more informed critiques about this topic, this was pure yawn. Read the adbusters one from about 4 years ago (maybe longer). I also think if you were to look back at any of the other great "counter cultures" you may see that they are also filled with scenesters. Its just the way it is, 99% of hippies did nothing of worth other than hanging out, same with punks blah blah blah blah blah. In the UK we have almost the same thing…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVmmYMwFj1I

    Its maybe a little more art focused and less about Indie more about electronic stuff, but the fixed gear bikes and all that jazz still hold true. You just have to laugh, not be negative, what real damage is it doing to your life? Let people be people, dont be such a hater, you are as bad as those you criticise for hating bands when anyone else likes them….

    Yeah.

  14. Nat Turner says:

    Hear me out before you call me a racist…What annoys me most about hipsters is the fact that the hipster subculture/movement/whatever produces self-reinforcing, insular, all-white or practically all-white, generally wealthy, social circles who are completely self-centered and self-indulgent and cut off from reality as most people experience it. Being that hipsters always surround themselves with other hipsters, who are also completely absorbed with their inane bullshit and maintaining some sort of status by acting/dressing/behaving exactly as their fellow hipsters, they lose any frame of reference for dealing with other people and the world. Having a prius doesnt make someone a hipster–Hipsters are generally not environmentally conscious. Hipsters instead are concerned about fitting into that jumpsuit/skinny jeans from American Apparel (and being anorexic enough/doing enough cocaine to do so), and making sure that their carefully managed beards, hair, and appearance gives off a I-don't-care look. The scary thing is, being as rich and white (see end note) as many hipsters are, hipsters will mostly likely be the next generation of politicians, lawyers, doctors, business people, and a whole host of positions that will fuck up everything for the rest of us.

  15. Karen says:

    I LOVE what you wrote, Nat Turner and agree with you 110%. Fuck Hipsters!!!! They are phony, aloof, rude, fake, rich assholes who think their shit doesn't stink and who actually think they've "discovered" indie rock, vintage clothes, expensive glasses, who get expensive haircuts and styles remininscent of the 60s and 70s, go to art galleries and expensive bars, thinking they are living the bohemian lifestyle, yet they are mostly well off!!! The true bohemians and hippies were dirt poor and actually went to college or got into the music business BEFORE they had any money, not after, as well as the true punk rockers and musicians they try and emulate so much. What a crock of shit!!

  16. Karen says:

    Then they act like they are "poor" and they move into mid income areas and lower income areas and then push out the people who've lived there for so long by making the areas more expensive with their ability to afford to pay higher rents and to rent or buy all the "new" luxury apts. in Brooklyn and Manhattan, and frequent bars that charge $15 for a drink and are the only ones who seem to be able to afford to go out and party every nite of the week. They hang out at Whole Foods since they have the cash to be able to shop there and pay very high prices for "organic" shampoo and soap and other "natural" foods and expect the airports to construct special parking areas just for their bikes that they ride to the airport if they are going away claiming they are trying to "protect the environment" by riding bikes instead of taking a cab like the rest of the world does. Who the hell do they think they are? They are ruining life in cities like NY, San Fran, Seattle, Chicago, etc. for the rest of us poor working stiffs!! But businesses and realtors love them because they have the money.

  17. YouSuckStick says:

    Hipsters….the bane of my existence. I don't care who you are, how you identify yourself, or what you're into so long as you don't pontificate a delusional image of self-worth as an elitist asshole. I got in an argument with a friend, who is a devoted self-proclaimed hipster, yesterday and he had the nerve to propagate some of the same hipster rhetoric I'm seeing in this thread from fellow hipsters/posers; apparently, hipsters believe they are driving ALL positive social change in this country since the late 90's, including environmentalism, urban farming, and single-handedly taking down the "corporate music industry." Seriously!? These spoiled, small, poser-socialites are so insecure and recognize the moribund quality of their worthless subculture they are trying to accredit themselves with promoting the better social welfare! The truth is markedly different, as all non-hipsters know. Instead of being true activists and making a difference, these are the apathetically disenchanted sect of our populace that TALK a lot but act very little. In layman's terms, hipsters flat out suck! If you find yourself arguing this point through a follow-up post or in your head, you probably identify with hipsters and should do one of three things: call Michael Vick and ask him to replace you for one of those poor pitbulls being tortured and killed, be really ironic and strap yourself to a missile aimed at your local stomping grounds/hipster hot spot, or take this smallpox blanket back to your "scene" and share it with everybody you know. The choice is yours.

  18. fffffffuuuu says:

    haha, great post. I listen to MGMT and Animal Collective because they sound pretty good, and I bet if I told this to a hipster, they would probably recoil in horror.

    Actually, I bet a lot of hipsters don't listen to those two groups anymore because they're considered too "mainstream" by hipsters or some shit like that.

  19. yeeeahh says:

    I kind of like the hipster style. Im not talking about the sun- glasses and hats they wear, but urban outfitters(known as a hipster store) actually has pretty cute clothes. But i hate how hipsters act like nobody understands them and they channel there emotions through weird ass music. They all try so hard to be unique and different. It like seriously if you want to be unique just be your-self. And they have money, how else do they afford all there clothes. They try to act like they are all so poor and there so misunderstood. I think its basically a way for a bunch of middle-class kids to act there a small bit ghetto like. They act like understanding and they dont judge people, but the hipsters I know (and believe me i know alot of them, my school is packed) are the most judgmental and hypocritical people I know. They are all so left- wing and if you disagree with them they think your a stupid idiot. Not to be dissing on left- wing side. I agree with the left- wing agenda with many things, I also agree with the right wing agenda also. I think they just a bunch of fake posers, who try to hard to act like outcast. In some way, they kind of remind me of scene kids. Who I also dis-like. I sometimes like the alternative music they listen to, not the music above. That shit sucked. I just mostly hate there attitude. They were all born in the wrong era and wished they were in the 70's.

  20. Vortura says:

    Interesting topic. I guess I'm what they would call a Generation X'er. I was born in 1970. I despise the current so-called hipsters I see everywhere, but maybe this happens with every generation as we get older. When I was in high school the "hippest" stuff was Black Flag, The Replacements, Husker Du, Dead Kennedys, etc. I remember "classic rock people" resenting me for such tastes, which is ironic because the first stuff I ever got into was FM AOR: the Cars, The Police, Eddie Money, 38 Special, Iron Maiden, AC/DC (all that good early 80's hard rock/metal before the hair bands ruined it. Then when I started getting into 60's/70's stuff like the Velvet Underground, Wire, Brian Eno, I imagine a different set of people despised my kind since I "wasn't there when it happened".

  21. Vortura says:

    (Continued)
    Now in my 40's I consider my tastes broader than they've ever been, except for one thing. I have little desire to check out new bands. I don't know if it's because they're 20 years younger than me or because they look like 90 lb. weeklings on trust funds. Lately I've been getting into lesser known hard rock/heavy metal/punk bands of the 70's: UFO, Thin Lizzy, 707, Blue Oyster Cult, (Trapeze anyone?), Radio Birdman, Celibate Rifles. I think I'm on a hiatus from "indie rock" altogether. I can't even bring myself to listen to a good Dinosaur Jr. album cause it reminds me of the fuckin' hipsters!

  22. Seanm says:

    hipster suck ass their nothing but a bunch fags

  23. Charlie says:

    I hate you hipsters. You make the world a worse place. Every time I go out and I see all you losers sitting there at the bar with your shitty attitudes and bad fashion sense I just want to grab your Pabst Blue Ribbon bottle and start beating you over the head with it. I know, that will ruin your ironic haircut and that would be such a shame, but at least you’ll write a shitty Emo song about it later.

    Worldwide hipsterism is on the rise. It is ruining entire countries and making single dude travel destinations like New Orleans much much worse. France is all hipsters. This movement must be stopped before it spreads everywhere like genital warts at a West Virginia family reunion.
    http://www.singledudetravel.com/2011/03/fuck-you-

  24. Deva102 says:

    I wish I was a hipster…*sigh*

  25. jimihendrix says:

    Kill all hipsters.

  26. noname johnny says:

    we used to beat up fags like these when i was in high school. i miss those days