There’s a rule that bacon makes everything taste better.
We add it to burgers, fries, pizza and even salad. There’s nothing that we enjoy more than a nice, crispy piece of bacon.
Because we love bacon so much, some people had the genius notion to make a pretty penny off our favorite pork product.
11. Bacon in a Can
I guess this could come in handy if your in a bind and need a bacon fix. Each can has 40 to 50 slices of precooked bacon, and apparently tastes good. But the truly disturbing thing about bacon in a can is that it is a shelf like of 10 years! Sorry, I just don’t trust anything with a shelf life that long.
10. Bacon Tie
Every guy should own a suit. And, every guy should own a gimmick tie. But a bacon tie? Nothing says that your serious about upward mobility like a tie advertising your high risk of a heart attack.
9. Bacon Watch
I guess you need a watch to match that tie, right chief? The only useful thing about the bacon watch is that it gives you the times in between those aforementioned heart attacks.
8. Bacon Air Freshner
As if the natural smell of a bacon cheeseburger wasn’t enough to consume your car, you can keep that smell all day, everyday.
7. Gummy Bacon
Gummy Bears are good. Gummy bacon not so good. Why would any guy want to eat a gooey candy version of his favorite crispy meat?
6. Bacon Flu Soap
This was made to get either men children or morons to wash their hands. If you really want to be a baconatic you can always make your own bacon soap.
5. Bacon Bandages
So you got a boo-boo, instead of using your trusty Scooby-doo bandages, use bandages that look like a cured piece of pork instead.
4. Bacon Chocolate
Somethings are great when paired together. Milk and cookies. Peanut butter and jelly. Beer and cigarettes. Bacon and chocolate. Wait, that doesn’t sound good. Why on earth would you tarnish the delicious tastes of chocolate and bacon?
3. Bacon-flavored Dental Floss
I guess you need the taste of bacon to wash out the taste of bacon.
2. Bacon Lube
Nothing is more sexy to a girl then being lubed up with some pork fat.
1. Squeezable Bacon
This unnatural product is made for people who are either lazy or mentally disabled. Is it really that hard to sizzle some bacon in a pan for a few minutes?