Offbeat

6 Career Opportunities For The Homeless

Many of us have become accustomed to seeing the homeless on city streets. Some of us show pity and give them a buck or two. Others shun them away. Then there’s a portion of us that are skeptical in giving the homeless aid, because they’ll just buy alcohol or drugs with it.

Whatever your opinion of the homeless is, there is a growing number of them here in the States.

In 2007, it was estimated that there were almost 750,000 people that were homeless. Of course, this isn’t 100% accurate, because you know, we can’t just go to their door like a Census taker.

With that many people considered homeless, it actually makes up about 1% of the population here in the States. And with home foreclosures, and a job market that has faced a downward spiral, that number has been growing.

However, all is not lost for the homeless.

To help them get back on their feet, and to assist employers looking for cheap workers, we’ve compiled a list of the best job opportunities for the homeless. Who says that we can’t find cheap labor right here at home?

6. Dare Takers

taseredphilliesfan 6 Career Opportunities For The Homeless

Out of boredom, stupidity, or pride, we love to pay other people to do outrageous things, like paying someone twenty bucks to stick a screwdriver into an electric outlet, which actually isn’t as fun as it sounds.

Instead of risking bodily harm to ourselves, or our gullible comrades, why not get your rocks off by paying a homeless person to do something moronic?

That’s exactly what 19 year old Quentin Wilson did in Georgia.

Wilson paid Rex Leo, a homeless man residing near the Waffle House where Wilson worked, five dollars to consume a cocktail containing cleaning chemicals.

Leo became violently ill and was taken to the hospital. Wilson was arrested, and more demoralizing, fired from the Waffle House.

Five dollars sounds cheap to me. I would have given the guy at least ten.

5. Protesters

protestsign 6 Career Opportunities For The Homeless

It’s a time honored tradition from across the globe. When inequalities occur people protest. Sometimes they end badly, like decapitation. Other times they end peacefully, like hippies putting flowers in a gun barrel.

Nowadays, most of us are too busy to picket. Have you ever tried to update your Facebook status while protesting? It’s damn near impossible with all the sign holding and walking in circles.

That’s why the regional carpenter’s union got creative.

The union hired a number of homeless people to join the good fight for $8 an hour. Which is actually more than the Federal minimum wage.

The union has been using their part time employees for the last two years when they march in Washington DC. They were found at homeless shelters and soup kitchens. They work twenty hours a week, and use their cash for necessities, like aspirin and laundry.

4. Lab Rats

labrat 6 Career Opportunities For The Homeless

When times get tough, people often subject themselves to experimental medical treatments, or donate blood or plasma. Nothing new there.

However, the folks at City of Angels Medical Center took it one step further.

Robert Bourseau, who ran the center, was arrested for committing illegal healthcare fraud and taking kickbacks when he hired homeless people to undergo unnecessary medical treatments in a scheme to defraud government health programs.

Bourseau reportedly used thousands of homeless people for the scam to gain millions of dollars from programs like Medicare and Medi-Cal.

3. Identity Thieves

dumpstersearch 6 Career Opportunities For The Homeless

Many of us are concerned about identity theft nowadays, since pretty much all of our information is stored somewhere online. But what if we don’t have the gadgets, or the know-how, to hack ourselves online to steal someone’s identity?

Go old school, and rummage through the trash.

William Frelix, hired some homeless people to go through dumpsters at local hotels to find people’s credit card information. Frelix allegedly was able to steal enough credit card numbers to purchase more than $100,000 in merchandise.

You gotta give this guy credit. He just hired homeless people to do what they already do. Wrong? Yes. Clever? Absolutely.

2. Line Sitters

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCj-ZPN0yxk[/youtube]

Some of us really can’t wait to get our hands on the must have games, or gaming systems. There are some that don’t mind shelling out a ton of money to buy a system, instead of waiting in line. There’s also a group of us that actually will wait in a line for hours or days.

A couple of guys thought outside the box when it came to snagging a PS3 in 2006.

These future entrepreneurs payed a number of homeless people a hundred bucks a day to wait in line for a PS3, which they then probably sold on eBay, and most likely, made a hefty profit.

I bet a number of die hard gamers were pissed – I would be. But, I think we need these kind of people to get hired by the government to fix the financial hole that we’ve dug ourselves into.

If people are crazy enough to pay a ridiculous mark up on a new gaming system, then others will capitalize on that. That’s the American way. Besides, it gave some cash to the homeless, which no doubt, helped some local businesses.

But, a phenomenon, like a Ps3, only comes along every couple of years. What to do in the meantime?

Well, there’s always lobbying.

Lobbyists have hired countless homeless people to stand in line for them in Congress.

These homeless people can make anywhere between $11 an hour to $35 an hour to guarantee a seat for the people who really run the country, lobbyists for special interest groups.

While I loathe lobbyists, at least they pay well. Actually, very well. I’m considering a career change now.

1. Hitmen

hitman 6 Career Opportunities For The Homeless

When I typically think of a hitman, the image of a shady, loner associated with the mob comes to mind. Or a large, insane Russian. Either way, I don’t think someone that’s homeless typical fits the mold.

Juan Carlos, who was the former host of Food Network’s “Calorie Commando,” was charged with hiring two homeless men to kill his wife.

On paper, that seems foolproof. It’s not like the homeless exactly leave a paper trail.

However, Carlos was apprehended when one of the people he hired ratted him out to Santa Monica police. I guess he should have paid the two men a little bit more to keep their mouths shut.

Leave a Comment

UA-44673178-1