Offbeat

10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time

When you think about places to post advertisements, rants, and just general ridiculousness, Craigslist should be at the top of the list. Each and every day, hundreds of thousands of people flock to Craigslist to buy things, look for love or sex, and look for jobs. With so many people coming together in one place, you can bet that hilarity will ensue.

Thankfully, the Craigslist Gods foresaw such a possibility, and the Best of Craigslist was born. Essentially, the Best of Craigslist consists of numerous posts about many different things, having been nominated for a prize.

When perusing the oodles of entries, you can tell that some not-so-funny ones were selected by people who just decided to be idiots and nominate worthless posts. Such people clearly have lives that they are ashamed of, and if they aren’t, well, they should be!

However, there are some true pearls of mediocrity on Best of Craigslist. These posts have made their way to the surface of the oozing amounts of crap exuded by numerous other posts.

That is why, the following posts (in no particular order, mind you) should be thought of as “The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time”:

1. Let us frolic in my totally dope blanket fort

blanket 1 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeObviously, the post title gets one’s attention, and is the epitome of ridiculous. Then, of course, it only gets better when you check out the pictures of this guy’s “totally dope” blanket fort. Clearly, this guy went to all the trouble of building a fabulously crappy blanket fort in the feeble attempt to prove that he could do so.

At least he admits that it’s crappy, calling it just a “prototype.” Um, hello? If you want to impress the ladies, oh Blanket Fort Man, you should have built an impressive blanket fort in the first place.

Don’t you know that women only want guys who can build AMAZING blanket forts?!

Nevertheless, let’s hope that, if this guy didn’t find love, he at least found better blankets.

2.Haunted toaster

toaster 2 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeIt’s hard enough selling things on Craigslist, so people have resorted to selling things with a bit of extra provenance. Take this woman, who claims that the haunted toaster hates her and burns her toast. If that is the case, well then, they’re a lot of haunted toasters.

Or maybe, just MAYBE, there are a lot of ridiculously stupid people out there who can’t figure out how to use a toaster! If nothing else, though, it would have been very amusing to watch her drop the toaster off the roof, which is probably what ended up happening.

3. My Casual Encounters Experience

lips 3 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeOh yes, the seedy side of Craigslist is exposed here. It’s funny to read the disclaimer when entering these more sinister parts of Craigslist, in which they advise people to practice safe sex. Yeah, like that happens.

The people who are desperate enough to post an advertisement looking for NSA (No Strings Attached for all you virgins out there) aren’t thinking about that, They want to get it on, and get it on quickly.

Clearly, this ridiculous post shows the rantings of a very sexually frustrated and overall bitter woman.

She wasted her time ranting on good ‘ol Craigslist, when she could have, say, gone out into the real world and possibly met a well-endowed, normal guy. On the other hand, with all of the trouble she went to, she might as well have just purchased a vibrator.

4. Space Ship for Sale $3500.00 or best offer

spaceship 4 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeUpon first reading the title to this classically ridiculous post, you might think that it was some sort of a joke, that a person was drunk and just put up an advertisement for kicks. Not this time, and there is ridiculously amazing photographic evidence to prove it. Yes, this person really did build a spaceship.

Or, one could call it a cosmically themed sculpture of some sort, since (well, hopefully) it doesn’t actually run, landing sensors or not. If it DID happen to be in working order, I think you’d agree that $3500.00 is quite a reasonable price.

5. Large Glass Jar (possibly containing a ghost)

ghostjar 5 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeWhy is it that people are resorting to selling haunted things on Craigslist? Really now, enough is enough.

However, if you’re ridiculously stupid like this poster, you too can buy a foggy glass (or is it plastic?) jar and pretend that the ghost of George Harrison is inside!

6. Trying to have a missed connection – m4w

missed 61 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeOne of the most interesting sections of Craigslist is the “Missed Connections” section. There, people who gazed lustily at a total stranger from afar can post to see if that same stranger noticed them too. How romantic.

Let’s face it, who wouldn’t want to have a missed connection? So, be ridiculous like this guy, and post an advertisement in which you actually want to coordinate a missed connection. Um, part of the fun of a missed connection is that it’s completely, totally missed! Maybe this guy was confused, and was just awkwardly asking for a date.

Well, for his sake, and any of those who actually were silly enough to respond to his advertisement, let’s hope so.

7. No taxation without representation

angryman 7 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeThis post is not just ridiculous in the amount of time and angered effort (note the aggressive use of the Caps Lock key!) that was put into creating it, it’s also ridiculously true. Clearly, it took tax season for these truths to become self-evident to this angry person.

One can just imagine Mr. or Mrs. Angry Person standing on a soapbox, screaming about taxation atrocities. Only, these screams will probably be falling on deaf ears; everyone else will be too busy doing something that this person clearly doesn’t do enough of: WORKING.

8. Rant: Person with a wooden leg that lives above me

stilts 8 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeEveryone at some point has had an annoying neighbor. However, this person actually was ridiculous enough to write a letter to a neighbor who quite possibly has a wooden leg. Or, as this person muses, might like wearing stilts. Um, hello?

First of all, the person is far too busy walking around and being noisy to read your rant. Second of all, ever heard of that marvelous little invention called high heels?

9. Things I’d like to tell students that would probably get me fired

angryteach 9 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeProbably the most ridiculous thing about this post is that this neurotic person tells off his or her imaginary students in really not-so-blunt ways, mixed in with jokes that are horribly bad. C’mon now, stop being such a coward! Be like Morgan Freeman in the movie Lean On Me.

Okay, so he was a principal, not a professor, but the man got his point across with a bat! The key thing here is he commanded respect without ever having to use it. In the case of this ridiculous professor, this whiny rant gets an F.

10. Autographed Copy of Plato’s Republic

plato 10 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All TimeFinally, someone’s selling something that isn’t haunted! How refreshing. Obviously, the ridiculousness of this post is self-explanatory. Alas, there’s no price mentioned in this advertisement.

Surely such a gem would be priceless, at least to someone who actually cares about philosophy. This begs the question: what does it mean to truly care? Does philosophy truly have one definition? Oh, shut up.

There you have it, the 10 most ridiculous posts on Craigslist. Of course, there are hundreds of other posts to read on there and laugh at.

So, the next time you’re on a boring lunch break, why not check them out? Or, better yet, post one yourself. Just make sure it’s ridiculous.

 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time
Vasily Darkbloom is, amazingly, not Russian; his parents just liked the name. When he’s not explaining his lack of Communist sympathy, Vee can be found working at various design outlets in Chicago, finally putting that Art BA to good use. He owns a pit bull, which he has trained to attack anybody who says “so, are you Russian?”
 10 Most Ridiculous Craigslist Posts of All Time

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  1. driver99 says:

    Your local fire department can often help you. ,

  2. Richard says:

    UPLOADING IDENTITY 1
    The guy who wrote this top ten list is, and the list itself is, and CL is, a product of our times. So what if his is not the best effort in the world, or so what if it were – everything in context, everything is relative. I mean it would be faint praise if we unanimoously agreed this was "the best top ten list in history." And his failure, if such is the case, is not the horrible crime some folks seem to think it is.
    Think about what it is that you are getting all hot about (if you didn't get hot ignore me). Man, where is our sense of humor and good grace in this modern world. If the guy is lame, don't be lamer by judging his lameness in a context, here on line, where lameness is a commodity. Blogging a top ten list is not exactly like being a 'big fish in a small pond' . . . perhaps more like appearing intelligent in a stupid context. But so what, in our modern culture(s) this kind of thing is popular.

    Richard

  3. Richard says:

    UPLOADING IDENTITY 2

    Irony – the king of humors; cynicism – the curse of modern civilization; sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, yes that is true. But poor grace and bad manners and an inability to chuckle at the follies of our fellow humans has been a sin since the beginning of time. Here, as with all reality, with this guy's success or not, observing something is what makes that 'thing' real. Let it slide folks and it is less real. You know guys, that old saying "roll with the punches" – but, it is important to only roll with the punches that hit you. This top ten listing guy was harmless . . . but you angry folks, you worry me.
    My oh my, it seems some folks. Matt etal, are suggesting the writer broke an ancient code governing the way in which one makes a top ten list; sounds as if folks are suggesting this guy committed a sin by lowering the standards of, what, tossing out sarcasm. Easy now people; take a look around at what's real in the world before going off on the words of an online blogger.
    Richard

  4. Richard says:

    UPLOADING IDENTITY 3

    Hellooo, internet chatting/blogging is not about saving the world. Browsing for something to read online, or to get all hot about (tell the truth, many of you who troll about looking for something to vent on) is not the same as going to a library looking for information. Folks, helllooooo, chating, blogging are about UPLOADING IDENTITY (unlike in the pre-internet days – when identity was almost entirely 'downloaded' from our parents, authority figures, books and media). You angry folks are simply uploading your identities. That's fine, no problem, fill your boots . . . but folks, hell's bells, wake up and look around you . . . stop taking such things so serious.
    The irate comments from the 'taxation guy' are somewhat legitimate but the rest of you angry folks – Matt, get a life, simply evidence how it is that folks like to hear themselves talk. Or, Matt, don't get a life but please stop acting as though this online stuff is your real life because that would be sad. Hahaha . . . and here I am letting myself become involved in such inanity.

    Richard

  5. Richard says:

    UPLOADING IDENTITY 4

    Now, I know you are all clever folks, but before you write back and tear into all the obvious holes in my comments, before you put all that wonderful brain power to use figuring out rebuttals and replies to my comments, take a moment, think about what you are doing. You are uploading your identity ; you are not involved in saving the world, or creating standards to limit sarcasm or anything else particularly useful. But that's okay; I am all for timely wasting time . . . but I don't take it seriously. You shouldn't either.
    - there's me uploading my identity . . . and I do have strong feeling about all lots of online 'stuff' . . . but I'm smiling and chuckling at the wonderful, remarkable capacity we all have to take ourselves too seriously.

    Richard

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