Lifestyle

How to Remember Her Birthday and Other Survival Tips

Did you ever wonder why women don’t come with instructions?

First of all, they should.

Second of all, they don’t because no one can completely figure them out. In this article you will find tips on how to survive you relationship, but it’s not a complete guide because there are some moments where it’s inevitable: you will be in trouble with your woman, and you may not even know why.

Set a reminder on your cell phone calendar to remind you of birthdays and anniversaries.

calendarYou can also use your computer at work, but make sure it’s something that she doesn’t have access to so she can’t find out your secret. Also, be sure you set your reminder about a week ahead of time so you have time to get her something. She’ll be impressed that you remembered all of those important dates. If Valentine’s Day is a tough one to remember too, put it in your calendar. It’s a biggie. You don’t want to mess that up!

If you’ve ever forgotten a special date, you’ll know how crucial this is, for it’s one of the biggest mistakes you could make. Women should know that men are incapable of remembering, but they still expect us to. In fact, it’s a requirement! So, the more holidays and special occasions you set reminders for, the easier your life will be. And with today’s technology, it’s not that hard – you can send reminders to your phone using simple applications like Gmail or through a services like PingMe and Twitter.

Understand this, even if it defies all logic; she’s always right, especially when she’s wrong.

This is very important. Your life will be a lot easier if you just tell her she’s right or let her think that she’s right. If you have ever been bold enough to correct a woman, within a few seconds you know that you have made a huge mistake. At this point, it’s too late to turn back. The damage is already done.

The first thing you need to know is that women think that they’re a lot smarter than men are. The second thing you need to know is that it doesn’t matter whether they are or not because they are able to withhold sexual contact for a lot longer than men can. Therefore, smart or not, they win and you’re better off letting them think that they’re always right. You won’t get evil stares (as much) and you still have a chance at having sex. If you ever argue with her or correct her, an icicle has a better chance of surviving in Hell than you do of having sex. Not to mention the fact that she will tell you repeatedly how she feels about the entire situation. It’s just not worth it. Just let her think she’s right.

Perfect the art of listening, or at least the perception that you’re listening.

earOne thing every man should know is that women love to talk. I think they like to hear their own voices or maybe they’re deathly afraid of awkward silence. Either way, they don’t really shut up much. Not only that, but you’re expected to listen to everything she says.

First, try your best to listen. If you find yourself tuning her out (because you’ve instinctively learned to do this at an early age), then you need to learn how to make her think that you’re listening to everything.

What you have to do in this case is at least look at her for part of the conversation – er – uh – monologue. Put in your “uh-huhs” and “ohs” where appropriate and listen to the tone of her voice every once in a while. This will give you an idea as to how she feels about the subject on which she’s rambling. If she sounds upset, you may want to sympathize with her. It’s important to note that only pretending to listen is a dangerous game, but you should be able to get away with it once in a while.

It’s easy to be stubborn, but it will get you nowhere; learn how to say “I’m sorry”.

If she says you did something wrong or she’s angry with you, just apologize. If you’re confused or don’t know what you did, don’t ask! This will only piss her off and delay the inevitable – the apology. Besides, if you asked her what you did wrong she’ll probably tell you that you already know what you did. If you just happen to be lucky enough to get an explanation, it won’t clear things up and will only prove to confuse you more.. You wouldn’t understand what you did wrong. So, save yourself some time and apologize.

She’s not your toy, so play nice. Women liked to be cuddled, not groped just for your pleasure.

Though your objective may be sex, women don’t work the same way. They want to be cuddled. Trust me, if you cuddle, you’ll get more sex than if you didn’t. Women want a sensitive man and the sensitive men get all the sex. That doesn’t mean acting like a little girl all the time – women want their men to be, well, men. Just be sure that you’re letting her know she’s more than just a piece of meat the next time you go for a romp in the hay.

Always remind her that you love her and that she’s still beautiful (even with that morning hair.)

She knows you love her and she knows you think she’s beautiful, but for some reason, women need to be reminded every day. You can also use either of these two phrases to your advantage at times. For instance, if you weren’t listening to her and she catches you, you can sometimes get away with saying, “I was just thinking about how much I love you.” Even if she doesn’t buy it and you’ll get in trouble for not listening, you said your “I love you” for the day and she can’t bitch later and say that you don’t tell her you love her.

Be sure to keep a lot of chocolate on hand for that “special” time of the month; it might make your life a little better (just a little.)

chocolateOkay, here’s the thing. Every woman goes through PMS and this is when the real bitch comes out. Your best bet is to let her yell, scream, or cry at you, say nothing, and hand her some chocolate. Warning: watch your fingers! It is the only way that you’ll survive those 5 to 7 days every month.

Now that you’ve read these survival tips, go ahead and put them into practice and you’ll see for yourself. This is an essential survival guide. However, you must be aware of one last thing. You must always have an escape route just in case…

Leave a Comment

  1. Ellie says:

    Chocolate is the worst thing you can give her during PMS time. It contains caffeine and sugar, two of the worst things for the sugar level balance and hormones raging at that time. I guess that’s how much you know about women.

    Your comments about listening were chauvinistic and inaccurate. Listening, really listening, is one reason women have closer friends and live longer – they connect with others. Also, for your info, studies have shown over and over that men talk more in mixed groups. If you don’t believe the studies, check it out the next time you and your friends get together. Men need to posture and figure out who is the head honcho and they brag and talk endlessly to show off their power.