Entertainment

The Rudest Titties In Music Video History

Ah, music videos – perhaps the best way to objectify women modern civilization has yet invented.

In this feature, we’re going to put a certain very nice body part under the microscope, along with some handy corroborating  videos, and find the five nicest sets of sweater-meats to ever grace the video dial. These are some rude titties – in fact, the rudest – in music video history.

Fountains of Wayne – Stacey’s Mom

This pop-rock masterpiece not only serves as a paean to the time when we first discovered (or rediscovered, really) the glory of the female tit, but it also cast supermodel Rachel Hunter as the titular object of desire – a directorial coup that can stand with any in cinema history. Throw in a tribute to the legendary unveiling in Fast Times At Ridgemont High and you have a music video that truly pays homage to the unstoppable power of the female breast.

Sabrina – Boys, Boys, Boys

Over on the other side of the pond, they have a reputation for being a little less prudish about displays of sexuality than we are here in America. So what could cause the seemingly innocent video for Italian popstar Sabrina Salerno’s track Boys to be banned from British TV? Well, just a little nip slip, my friends, and what a slip it was. Sabrina’s puppies are barking to be let free from a skimpy bikini in just about every scene, and once they bust loose they’re pretty much the defining rack of the 1980s.


Christina Aguilera – Ain’t No Other Man

GodDAMN was pregnancy good to Xtina. We’ve got to give it up to her slovenly husband Jordan Bratman – dude must be packing some serious ordinance in his pantaloons to land a piece of tail of this caliber, and in this video, the lead single off of 2006’s Back To Basics, we get an unbelievably spectacular showcase for Aguilera’s melons. Most of the video is hot, but about three-quarters of the way through, our heroine dons a tight white shirt and a pair of black suspenders and just busts loose. Max is one lucky baby.

Petey Pablo – Freek-a-Leek

Yeah, picking a Dirty South hip-hop video with nice titties is like trying to find hay in a haystack, but my personal fave has to be this cut by Petey Pablo, which has one of the most astounding ladies I’ve ever seen hit the screen in a skimpy blue bikini that juuuust barely manages to get the job done. Sure, there’s plenty of other honeys to get distracted by, but keep your eyes on the prize for some truly engorged chesticles.

Tatjana – Baila Baila

Haven’t heard of Dutch-Croatian singer Tatjana? Well, you don’t really need to hear her to appreciate her.. talents, as this spectacular video proves. Yes, what makes this gorgeous blonde pop tart really marketable over in Euroland is her astounding rack, which the director of this video makes sure to showcase in just about every frame. The music is typical annoying club schmutz, but you know where the volume knob is, right? Assuming you have a free hand.

Any other remarkable videos out there that can compare with these racks? Please do share.

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  2. PassionCenter says:

    The girl in the blue bikini in Petey Pablo's video is none other than ESTHER BAXTER one of the top video vixens of her day.