Generally speaking, buying condoms is a pretty straightforward affair. You walk nondescriptly into a gas station, pick up a bag of chips or a drink, a newspaper, something that disguises the fact that you only walked into said location to buy condoms.
Then you slyly ask for a box of Trojans behind the counter if there, or grab them from the shelf, pay for your prophylactics and other items, leave said location, and then pray for a good evening. The whole encounter looks something like this:
Things would be a lot more awkward if you showed up to a date’s house with any one of these weird condoms.
10. Obama Condoms
Your lady friend might look at you strangely if you whip out this presidential condom. Your mother always told you to never talk about politics in polite company. Anyways, you can buy your very own Obama, Palin, or McCain condoms from the company’s website.
9. Vibrating Condoms
This is just something I just can’t really grasp… I mean, I know it’s all about the motion of the ocean and not the size of the ship, but this vibrating apparatus seems a little much.
8. Junko Mizuno Manga Condoms
Now, I’ve never been really into the strangeness that is the manga subculture, but if I were, I’d make damn sure any girl I’m about to get freaky with was as well, or things might get a little awkward. In case you are sure, you can buy these weird condoms here at the Mizuno Garden website.
7. Lambskin Condoms
Seriously…Lambskin condoms don’t protect you or your lady friend from STD’s, so why even bother? Plus, there’s something a little unsettling about using a condom made from animal intestines during the physical act love. But, if you don’t care about these little things, you can pick them up here.
6. Condoms to Protect Endangered Species
Now, I’m all about saving the environment and pretty little animals that aren’t readily consumable, but seriously? At least they’re free, you can go to the hippy group’s website and get free save the wildlife condoms to distribute to your friends and total strangers!
5. Coffee Flavored Condoms
I’m sure one of the least tastiest things one can encounter during lovemaking is an artificially flavored Ethiopian coffee condom.
4. Juicy Queen Condoms
This is just crazy! Condoms that come in a fruit juice container? Look at the ingredients: Stimulation and Excitement are 100%! Freshly squeezed from a Korean sweatshop, you too can own these fruit flavored condoms!
3. Helthe Strange Condom
I mean, just look at this thing! Ehhhh, you can buy one here.
2. Durian Flavored Condom
The strange thing is, apparently the durian flavored condom smells as vicious as it looks. While many asians find the smell of the durian fruit appealing, most westerners think it smells like “stale cheese, old gym shoes, or a gas leak.” Unless your lady friend of the evening is asian, I don’t think this is the right way to set the mood. Really, the durian fruit stinks.
1. Spray On Condoms
Yeah, try convincing any woman this is a good idea. There’s something about the hiss of a can of spray on latex that cries safety and sets a sensual mood.