Lifestyle

4 Arguements That Will Change Your Gal’s Perception of Sperm

We all know that sperm is the life juice that keeps the planet spinning. As deviant sorts of men, we know that we love sharing our man juice with the ladies. They may not be so fond of our gift, but do we really care?

The next time the woman in your life gets grossed out by semen, give her these four reasons on why she should embrace it with arms wide open.

4. She Could Have That Much Sought After Cameron Diaz Look

I’m sure everyone remembers that classic scene in There’s Something About Mary where Cameron Diaz’s character, Mary, mistakes Ben Stiller’s load for hair gel.

Well, a hairdresser in London has made that a bit of reality.

Hari Salem has been using bull semen to style his clients hair. He’s stated that he has used numerous other organic materials to give women soft and thick hair, but, nothing has worked like the bull’s semen, since it’s loaded with protein.

That’s all well and good, but, how the heck did he come up with bull’s semen? It might have been one of those situations where you wish you were a fly on the wall.

However, shampoo company Kevis, has been using human sperm since 1995. Kevis is still around today, and is said, to cure baldness. Sorry. I’m not putting sperm in my hair, but if your girl is losing hers, then you already have the remedy.

3. Benefits of a Facial

Guys have been saying that sperm will help a ladies skin for probably centuries. Of course, chicks thought it was a lame excuse for a guy to ejaculate on her. But, we told so you.

Way back in 2009, there were some reports of American women getting a sperm facial in salons, which had been occurring in Europe first, thanks to those crazy Norwegians.

More recently, it’s been picking up steam. It’s been said that the product is an anti-oxidant, which helps slow down the aging process.

There’s a down side, however. The product is actually a synthesized form of semen, called spermine. But, hey, we can keep that between us. There’s also a company, and I’m not making this up, called CMEN, who are selling semen cream packs for $400 a month.

So, if you want to make some extra cash, it looks like you should be getting into the facial mask business. Or, if your girlfriend wants to, or does, use these products, tell her that you can save a ton of dough by making you own.

2. It’ll Put a Smile on Her Face

According to a study from the University of New York in 2002, semen makes women happy.

The research discovered that women who never, or rarely, use condoms during sex were not as depressed as those who do. In fact, depression symptoms and suicidal tendencies were higher among woman who used condoms.

The team believes that semen is an anti-depressant because it contains many several mood-altering hormones, such as testosterone, oestrogen, follicle-stimulating hormone, luteinising hormone, prolactin and a bunch of things called prostaglandins.

We’re not advocating unsafe sex, you know because of STDs or getting a girl knocked up. If you happen to be in a relationship where you don’t have to use a condom, just tell your girl that your semen will put her in a better mood. It’s scientifically proven.

1. Sperm. The Other White Meat

We’ve all heard those urban myths of people getting a STD after eating something with some “special sauce.”

While those rumors have been debunked, you could always have a demented waiter, think Fight Club, who wants to add a little something to your soup, but you’ve got nothing to fear. Unless you’re a cheap, ignorant dick to your server.

That doesn’t mean that semen can’t be used as an ingredient. There’s a cookbook out there called Natural Harvest: A Collection of Semen-Based Recipes, which has a number of dishes that call for some man juice.

Why? Because, according to the author, it’s nutritious and also has great cooking qualities. While this could be very likely a prank, or for people looking for a gag gift, there is actually evidence that sperm is nutritious.

There are two books that cover the topic. The first is “Essential Reproduction” by M.H. Johnson and Barry J. Everitt. The second is Lou Paget’s “How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure”.

The books found that in a typical ejaculation, which is about a teaspoon, a dude’s semen can include 150 mg of protein, 11 mg of carbs, 3 mg of cholesterol, as well as, some potassium, zinc and copper.

So, remind her, that your sperm can be part of a well balanced diet.

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