10 Things Guys Do Wrong in Bed

All guys want their girlfriends/mistresses/wives/whatever to think that they’re a dynamo in bed.

After all, a guy’s sexual prowess is directly connected to their masculinity and a man who can’t satisfy is a man in trouble.

So, if you’re wondering how to really satisfy your woman, here are 10 things, from a woman’s point of view, that you should NEVER do in bed:

1. The “Wham, bam, thank you m’am” approach: Too many guys see sex as purely something to satisfy their horny cravings. Here’s your poor woman in her cute little nightie, looking forward to a night of passion, and all she gets is the main event without any sort of opening act.

It might satisfy you, but it certainly won’t give her any satisfaction. This directly leads to…

2. Not enough foreplay: Women really hate it when, just a minute or two into oral sex, a guy pulls away and goes right for intercourse.

Really, that’s just not cool at all – give a woman time to properly cum!

3. No communication: As a guy, you might think that sex should just be about the physical act, but women see it as so much more than that.

That’s right, before you start in on foreplay, talk for a little while. Tell her what you’d like to do to her, and (this one’s the clincher) ask her what she wants.

4. The wrong kind of communication: Some guys talk right before sex, but they talk way too much, and about the wrong things.

Okay, so maybe your coworker’s a real jerk, but talking about it really isn’t going to do much for the mood.

5. Ignoring pivotal g-spots: Men too often ignore the overall female anatomy, preferring instead to go right for her pubic area or her breasts.

Yes, these two places are stimulating, but what about the neck, torso, and thighs? Mix it up a little bit, otherwise things can get boring quickly.

6. Thrusting too quickly: It might help you, but it certainly doesn’t help her. Women like to be treated gently, not like they’re being pounded by a very large (well, at least you’d like to think so) woodpecker.

Just go at a moderate pace, not being too rough, but making each thrust really count at the same time.

7. Not warning her when you’re about to cum: Obviously, women cum more emotionally than physically. Yeah, it can get a little slippery down there when a woman’s been satisfied, but guys are the ones that make a real mess.

Tell her just before you’re going to cum – especially if she’s giving you fellatio. After all, semen isn’t always something a woman wants to swallow, and you certainly don’t want her choking.

8. Trying Anal Sex Without Her Permission: Really, unless she’s told you before, she’s probably not into anal sex. Some guys like to try it out, but honestly, it’s something that can be very painful for a woman.

So, if that’s something that you want to try, don’t just go ahead and pretend like you were confused and in the wrong hole – ask her first!

9. Not being creative: Guys get an A for effort if they try something and it doesn’t work out, but guys who don’t try anything new just end up plain old boring.

C’mon now, the missionary position is so 18th Century.

10. Getting too creative: Yes, there is a happy medium in the sexual creativity department. Women like trying new things, but when those new things involve being contorted into award positions, then that’s not a good thing. Just be careful if you break the table you don’t fix it in the nude.

In the end a woman’s body language will tell you what she likes and doesn’t like.

So, pay attention, and you’ll be on your way to doing everything (namely her) right.

Leave a Comment

  1. WTF says:

    So basically everything that turns a guy on, is a no-no? WTF

    • kim says:

      this is not always true it just means that a woman at time would like things to be passionate and not always so rough. mix it up a bit.

    • thinker says:

      you must not be able to read cuz i got something different from that it saying ask a lott of women like pain and pushing i know i do why dont u think of someone other than ur self

  2. lol says:

    Trying anal sex without permission is WRONG?!? sheesh. some people have no sense of humor.

  3. Woodpecker says:

    fucking lamest list ever… hello vanilla sex. geez.

  4. savage says:

    this had to be written by a feminist. i’m stickin to porn…. can swithch it off as desired.

  5. Swizec says:

    Why are all posts of this kind saying men what they’re doing wrong? What about women? Do you think it’s THAT easy to satisfy a man? Because it’s not.

    • thinker says:

      because its easer to satify a man than a woman

    • bri says:

      because 80% of the time you are doing it wrong! you think that its is easy to be satisfied as a woman??? all of your feeling and sensation is right there in front of you! with a woman there are sertain spots and angles that please her. all of these posts are men who are conceded and selfish. how would u like it is you didnt orgasm everytime you had sex? then think about how it is to not orgasm at all. have sex say 40 times in 6 months and dont orgasm!! it is MUCH easyer to satisfy a man than a woman. think about that. r u the only one involed??

      • jj says:

        actually. i havent orgasmed every time me and my girlfriend have had sex. mainly because she isnt doing it right. i do what she wants and i get creative and she tells me what she wants and has had an orgasm all but one of the times we have had sex. and thats because the phone rang and we had somewhere we had to be immediately (different story) i do my best to please her but and as far as i can tell i do. and im not trying to sound conceded or anything but just because the guy ur doing it with is doing it wrong, doesnt mean u should blame it on the whole male population. believe it or not some guys (who arent shallow) are actually kinda hard to please because they are looking for something more in their sex life other than sex. some of us want to actually have a connection when its all said and done and want to lay there with her and talk to her and hold her in our arms and fall asleep with her. so give us a break ya know? we may play dumb to make us look like we are just walking idiots who are shallow like most women think guys are. but give some of us a chance and you might find out that there are a lot of good guys out there that want to please a woman more than just the moment. some of us want to give her that memory that will last until next time. give guys a chance. we want to please u as much as you want to be pleased. trust me.

        • PlayMate says:

          talk to your girl sex should be a agreement to both parties. Communication is as must some girls feel by laying there is nesting an guys would leave them so many girls have taken what they see or hear as if I do this my msan will leave me because I'm to clinggy. Communication is a must in the long run. I would know I have been with my man 4yrs an I still excite him with new stuff an cuddle after or just oral pleassure asking how it makes them feel nothing beats passion an plan a romantic night an let her know what you what. Let her know what feels great an what doesn't watch 40days and nights that has loads of tips

    • Blue Angel says:

      lol!!! Just blow on it and a men will come< get with it you guys you don't know the meaning of satisfiying a real woman…

    • PlayMate says:

      I know I can satisfy my man and yes this list is false in some but as the anal I like him to just do it a finger in my ass while fucking so much better also there is amove we just started YES we are sex freaks so alway trying it all. Have the girl do a proped up cowgirl style an trust hard an deep also an put her face in your shoulder an jack rabbit feels amazing to both parties an I have a hard time cumming because I last to long but I came 3x's with this position. Also some girls won't admit it but fake rape is always fun we love to be controled an role play is exciting. Also if you have a girl just to lose lay her on her stomach legs together an fuck make it tighter also making her work the pussy muscle will also make it super tight. πŸ™‚

  6. H.E.O says:

    Yo Swizec , its abt men cos they r the ones who lead the sexaual intercourse .

  7. Mike says:

    What the hell did H.E.O just say?

  8. Outlet says:

    Hello Mr. Sex πŸ˜€ nice article thanks.

  9. Mickeala says:

    just because its the opposite of what one thinks a man likes in bed doesn’t mean it was written by a feminist. i disagree with stuff on this list too, as being rough and just getting pounded is sometimes just what i need, and foreplay can be boring and just be a longer means to reach what i want–and i do consider myself a feminist.
    if i wrote this list it would say “ask her what she likes, reach compromises, try new things”…and implement blindfolds.

    • Guest says:

      ok see thats bullshit cause then basicaly what your saying is you cant really sastify women at all if there always changing what they want

  10. Scott Blogs says:

    Wow, I guess I am already the perfect lover, at least based on this article πŸ˜‰

    — or maybe not

  11. nietzsche says:

    fuck that–pin that bitch down by the wrists and pound the shit out of her. that’s what i’m talking about.

  12. Jeremy Mouton says:

    All of your comments are very disturbing… This list is great, and I hope you’ll be reminded of it next time she bites it off for being an asshole.

  13. Bria says:

    I hope those of you who left asshole comments know that you’re being perceived as typical men.

  14. Typical Man says:

    Bria, I don’t think that’s a fair comment to say, why would you think that because some men act in a certain way that it’s typical for all men to act that way, that’s a very sexist comment and I think your an arse for thinking it.

    I think the list is useful but I tend to do most of it anyway…

    • bri says:

      how many men have you been with? how would you know the percentage of men who act like that in bed?? cause about 90% of men ive been with do.

  15. Amber says:

    so I have to say that some of this is very true. My boyfriend and I only do Missionary position and the other day he said lets do something new and we were stumped and i think most of this is because he does a lot of things wrong so i end up not always pleasured, just tired.

  16. Raj says:

    o hai, yur doin it rong, kthxbai!

    – secks cownsulluh kitteh

  17. Ali says:

    Haha, well I'm a woman + would never agree with the crap list…
    shutup, moan, fuck me hard up the ass, and cum over me = much a much better fuck

  18. jojack says:

    gag at amber-ONLY missionary huh-your boyfriend hates you….

  19. ambersdumb says:

    we were stumped?????? LMFAO

  20. wantingsome says:

    Don't get me wrong, a good hard bang every now and then is always good, some women are into that, some aren't. I personally like the list because it does square onto the things that a lot of men miss. I kinda wish my bf would read stuff like this, because about 3 of them relate for sure.

  21. Jay says:

    Aw, this list is so spot on!

    Then after an emotional round of intercourse, maybe we’ll have our periods together!

  22. Sarah says:

    Jay, that was HILarious.
    But in all honesty I do think this list is pretty good. EXCEPT that sometimes, maybe even 1/2 the time, I do just want quick sex. No caressing/kissing, etc. Sometimes when you're both in the mood it's already past bedtime and you need it to only take 10 minutes not 45+. So, yes, apply all these principles but ladies please don't expect your man to do all that talking and caressing stuff every single time. 1/2 the time just do it hard and fast if that's what he likes!! Compromise.

    • bri says:

      i dont think that this list is supposed to cover it 100% of the time. i think it is just giving men a better idea of how to please their women when the time comes. your not in the same mood everytime you have sex. but you need to b able to caress and tend to your womens needs when the time is there. same goes for her. your in it together.. shouldnt it be a team effort???

  23. Jenni says:

    Meh, I only agree with 8 and 9. Everything else, if a guy did that all the time – booooooooooooring…

  24. Sash says:

    Jay that was HILARIOUS… I'm a woman and the list applies but to e certain extent. In real life we sometimes just need some hard, kinky 'n getting freaky sex. Don't get me wrong…. I definitely enjoy foreplay and passionate sex but I also enjoy it when my guy just rips my clothes off, throws me on the bed… or on the nearest piece of furniture or countertop…lol…. and just gives it to me…. I enjoy it when my man takes control and just takes what he wants…. TOTAL TURN ON!!!! Wham, Bam…. thank you daddy!! It depends… but either way… I enjoy any version of it!

  25. lady with a laptop says:


    The comments are more interesting than the article here.

    What it boils down to is communication. It's pretty much straight bullshit to say that one formula works for all women, all the time(or, in that case, for men, either). Talk to your partner, open them up some and find out what they're in to.

    It's more important to know your partner's preferences than the internets.

  26. Chris says:

    Did anyone notice in the picture that she is wearing a bathing suit and in the bottom picture there is no wedding ring lol WTF and yes i think that this list is bullshit communication and having actual desire can lead to the best sex for both its harder than you think to get guys off so where is that stupid list so we can make fun of it???

  27. haos says:

    if it takes longer then 5 minutes you are pleasing the wrong guy

  28. JOe says:

    women a sexist bitches! They pretend like they never want sex,
    but its a known fact that women think about twice as more than men do in a single day!
    … fuck that shit, practice abstinece!

  29. Big daddy says:

    I think women need to do a better job of taking ownership over sex being good or bad. Women tend to not tell their men what turns them on and expects us guys to understand their vaginas when most women don't even understand them. Men 99% of the time want to make women cum we just don't always know the combination to your cum safe!!!!! I have been with my wife for years and can't get her to relax enough to cum everytime we do it. She is more likely to cum after having a few drinks. Other girls I have dated would cum every single time we had sex. All women are different. Tells what you like and you would all be much happier in the sack.

  30. womyn are impossible says:

    So basically if it's something a man would like, then it's wrong.

  31. No complaints says:

    No one wants Drama/Chick Flick sex every time. If guys followed this post to the letter, every time, they'd end up single more than laid. You have to play it by the moment. I've had sex with girls that lasted all night and I've had the 10 minute quickie where everyone was happy 5 minutes later. I fucked my girlfriend in a friend's basement bathroom. One time she told me to pull over and fuck her in a parking lot because she couldn't wait anymore. The key to this list is to keep it in mind, think outside of it and apply all of it to your specific scenario and situation.

  32. Omid says:

    Thanks sssss… So usefull… i hope that u put some new things in this site… πŸ™‚

  33. art says:

    yeah…guys stop being dicks and pay attention for a bit to this article, just cuz your lazy or a prick you might find pleasure in doing osmething other then just thrusting quickly, cummin in like 5 seconds and going to sleep isn’t going to get you a second chance ill tell you that. and also we girls know how to start talking to each other (long time friends or startif out friends-just -met-at-a-club) and once they learn your name doesn’t give you a good sex life belleive me πŸ™‚

  34. mr writer1 says:

    i think this article i very tue and interesting. as a male i have been paying attention to my partne alot and reading this makes alot of sense!

  35. IceCream says:

    Wait… were SUPPOSED to please women? Dude they are just here to release my nectar. Whats with all this PLEASING shit? Fuck her, slap her on the ass, put it in her butt, and send her bitch ass back to the kitchen.

  36. IceCreamIsGood says:

    IceCream thats a great point! Get up in there and make your deposit and bounce! If her ass is fresh and the dick won't fit, then slip the index finger in there. Guaranteed that she likes it!

  37. Average Guy says:

    Lmao at this list. Yeah communication is important, and from talking about what we both want I've learned that every single person I've ever slept with has enjoyed rough passionate sex and half of them loved anal. So do some freakin' homework on what people actually want. Repetitive bland missionary is vanilla sex leftover from Victorian era romance novels. Welcome to the 21st century. Get naked, get wild, get with it.

  38. JudeMan says:

    only one comment made sense, the rest are more argumentative, or just annoying, basically the fact is female Loves a guy who Takes a Strong lead in the bedroom, Build her anticipation, and isn't a horny hamster to have sex .. period, so its important to Decern , when it is the right time to make your move, beforehand, we foreplay and build her up to it, when she gets to that point , fuck her brains out, like she was your slut

  39. Eddie says:

    I think my boyfriend has known this stuff already because boy does he please! When we have passionate sex or just a quick rough and tumble, he knows what gets me going. He even growls which turns me on even more. I guess I’m pretty lucky! I agree that it’s all communication, reading and religiously following a list you find online is wrong, it gives good pointers but hell every woman is different. I bet a dominatrix has different sex wants than a newleywed couple.

  40. Haiku says:

    I defo agree wit judeman!! Fuck em hard! Lmaoooo

  41. Haiku says:

    Defo agree wit JudeMan!! Shag em hard! Lmaoooo

  42. MR SIXPACK says:

    the only way to go is to POUND IT

  43. gjfgjf says:

    it all depends on the woman. and the guys who made ime to comment and say asshole things probly arent getting any thats y they read this article in the first place. LOOSER

  44. dawbn)))) says:

    lol this thing is sooo weird ppl call me 706 271 6326

  45. geo says:

    nah just cum on her mouth, that s it

  46. no name says:

    if i ever find whoever wrote this, im ganna follow the list, when i get her in im ganna pee in her pussy kill her ass! shit shes probly a vergin

  47. Jenny RITCHIE says:

    My husband and I commit to this, and feel that it helps our relationship build and grow stronger all the time. I think it sums it up when you said that "men and women have one simple wish in relationships: to be heard, noticed, appreciated, and understood." So to underestimate the power of this is foolish. It can be quite simple, not necessarily easy, but definitely worth the effort!!

  48. Moni says:

    While this article is very old, I have to say you guys are funny. If you have a girlfriend or wife, and you aren't doing this stuff right here…you're just pounding as you put it, the bitch is faking. We squeeze big ass babies out of our pussies so simply pounding LOL is kinda lame. Trust me, the bitch is faking…go ask her LOL!

    • Haaa says:

      Yeah id agree if this was the way it was gone about, they would deserve silence rather than faking to show them just how good it isn't! lol

  49. Jenny Devon says:

    This reads like sex 101 for teenagers who are just beginning to explore the mysterious realm of bedding girls. Seriously a real woman would not care less for the items mentioned for regular sex. They just want to be ‘seen to’ and that is already a kind of attention paid to them by itself.


  50. An Experienced Male says:

    LOL these comments sound like a war between "sluts" and "lovers". Every woman is different, and it SERIOUSLY does boil down to communication – you need to talk about your fetishes and soft spots first. With a one-night stand you're kinda screwed unless you can understand what "type" she is just from a normal conversation.

    Each point on this article is only right for some women – which is kinda evident from a few comments from girls who disagree with them. If you wanna know how to satisfy your partner (whether male or female), you NEED to know what they like, it's as simple as that.